Friday, July 31, 2009

Friday night, in the park, thinking of the 4th of July

Ok, so I modified the words a teeny bit!! lol

It is Friday night, I have had a quick nap and now I am up, I was worried that Iwould not fall back asleep but I am tired. Tomrrow, early, we head for the beach, son, girlfriend and dog in tow! for the weekend. I am excited to have cofffee on the beach at 6am with the dog playing in the water on Sunday. I need a beach day, some down time to reevaluate what is going on in my life.

The boy (youngest) is back in school in about 4 weeks, I know he has totally enjoyed his summer, but it's coming to a quick end for him!

life is good for me, and him....we are off to beach in the early morning!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


That is the only word I can think that this blog thinks at this particular moment! Me, on the other hand, overly busy.

I am single as the day is long, that is a new statement in my vocabulary, but one that I must adhere by to get myself through the days and weeks ahead, because we have a new acquisition and it positions me to catapult my career into the place I want to I need to focus! I have been working longer than normal days, much to the dismay of my younger son. I have been absent from homelife all around for a bit, because I lack the energy to do anything but cook a good meal once I get home, but the reward will be threefold to me, my family and my career. In a day and age where most people are losing jobs, I have this opportunity to catapult mine and I am going to do everything I can to do this, I am a very motivated person and I would love to see my self succeed at this! Ok, enough gloating about me!

My son is down to a mechanical prosthetis...ok that may not be exactly the right way to put that but the cast is off, he has a uber cool brace on his leg and is able to enjoy the rest of his summer, swimming included!! He has recovered so well, I'm very proud of him, but worry that his enthusiam will reinjure himself!

Me, I am maintaining, a grand 136 today....I hardly look at the scale anymore and I am still doing my slim in is really a great, sweaty, EASY workout but she kicks your ass and you feel it the next clothes are fitting better once again and I feel better about myself...ok that is really a crazy thing to say because in my past life I would never have said

I am working too many hours though and they are really taking their toll, I want to get into the Inventory Mgmt field and this is my opportunity so I am going to ride it out and see what happens. What I have found out though is I have so many friends in the industry along with my personal friends who think I am doing a great job, well balanced is the word I hear alot...although I don't always feel that way, I am glad it is all coming down to that!! so please between you and me let them think that for now!

What else, I have no clue...I just passed my 32 months out since surgery....does that even calculate with you because it seems like a distant dream to at work I wore a size 6 suit, very finely tailored that I picked up at a second hand store....with a smart shirt for our meetings all day...and I felt like more than a million wonder I always envied the skinnier girls in the past for their choice of fashion because today totally suited me!! ok no pun intended... I had a old friend/supplier rep come in, he has not seen me in person since the transformation so to speak, he was in awe, same age and he was like you are gorgeous!! talk about some comments that make your day, especially since it was bound to be stressful.

Anyhow, enough of me, life is grand, we are spending all weekends from now til the end of Oct at the beach...and I say AMEN to that, coffee and peace and silence with my poochy (cole) on the beach at 6am and I am a happy girl!!

So in essence I am not dating, so if you followed for that give it because I have! well for a while at least and I'm leading the boring life for a spell.

Neglected? does this mean I am out there living my life and have no time for my cyber friends.....if so I mean no harm because I love you all, but life is good right now!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Where have I been?

I didn't realize it's been over a week since I have been here. So much is going on, went on and still in process.

I have been good, crazy busy, and altogether feeling like I am losing my mind!

A few quick bullets and I'll be back later with more:

  • xh wants to move back here (wtf!!)
  • the boy is out of his cast
  • the girls and I hung out all weekend
  • I was actually in my house all weekend
  • I slept in on Sunday til I woke ~ can't rememer the last time I did that
  • work is getting busy ~ we were awarded a whole line
  • a friend is coming to visit this weekend for a while
  • I'm losing my tan :(

So that is it for now...back with more later

Sunday, July 19, 2009

What a great weekend....

We went up to NY yesterday and got on the boat right on time...stopped on the way and had breakfast and really just enjoyed the day...see left. It was a glorious day on the Hudson and the weather was beautiful, mid 80's, sunny and just perfect. Met alot of great people, and just enjoyed the day, got some sun to enhance the tan that I have been working on all summer so far. I was able to meet a few people that I have emailed (work wise) and it was great to put a face to name after all these years. Last night we stayed up there, had a great dinner. There ended up being six of us in our party and a day on the boat, catching up with old friends and new friends and just enjoying. We had a grea dinner at an Italian eatery, very nice and fancy and we all shared, which I always find so enjoyable since all in all I don't eat much. We laughed and talked and sang, yes some singing was involved, got the waiters all involved and moved back to hotel where I promptly dropped into bed. Up early, the best part was to open the blinds and see the NYC skyline out there in front of me and down for coffee and
light breatkfast before heading back home. The trip home was good, uneventful which is always good and to a birthday bbq...I am home tonight, alone, which is good. Some R&R after a simply wonderful weekend and regrouping for the work week ahead of me. Of course there was no exercise, eating was great, because of all the good food, but not outrageous and I ended up with new friends...what more can a girl ask for????

Thursday, July 16, 2009

New routine

recently I succumbed to the ad on tv for the Slim in 6 from Beachbody. I am always looking for new routines for my workout, because I get stale on the same old, same old. Plus it is proven to mix it up, keeps you exercising. So I bought the slim in 6, I am 1/2 way through my first week with the program and let me tell you it's kicking my butt. For a mere 30 minutes it will make you sweat, firm you up and the whole time you don't feel like you are over exerting yourself! I hope after the six weeks that I see some results, but I am not holding my breath because of all the excess skin from losing the weight in certain areas but I am hopeful it may firm some of it up! I also noticed something about the instructor who is in great shape, she has batwings!! I got the biggest smile on my face, because yes, there it was for the world to see!! I have not been sore the next day after these workouts either, which is a great plus, because I am getting the benefit of the workout without the burnout the next day! Six days a week for 30 min is not too much for a better body, and I love her stretching routine, makes me really feel good afterward!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The middle of the week again

And I have had a little peace in my life with the routine of work, dinner, exercise, clean up and then some R&R with the son. It's good to have routine although I tend to really mix it up most weekends!

Yesterday I got a suprise text from M, he borrowed someone else's phone (so yes P, you win the $15 are yours lol) I just couldn't believe the unmitigated gall of him trying to contact me after I repeatedly ask he not. I really just think men are hardwired so much differently than women and I am not sure I am willing to put up with that just yet!

Work is good, busy and ever evolving but that is for the good of all of us! Willingness to evolve means we will continue working!

DS2 is getting itchy, so the healing has really begun, we've given him a yardstick so he can try to access the itches...I told him not to be too forceful or he'll break it off in there and that could mean problems again!

Other than that, the heat and humidity are going to make their appearance, we have really been lucky with quite mild weather for summer so far and I have fully enjoyed it!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Decisions are made and they are both in......

for my upcoming weekend I asked my gf Heather to join me....she said yes and it is going to be a great girl/relaxing weekend. Plus we get to catch up because we are always trying to catch up and hang out for a few hours and it never happens!! I'm really excited for this.

Ok, for Nascar in Bristol....I chose my friend Rick. Why, because he's my friend, he's 6'4 (body guard and he loves he's been through some shit with me when I break up with guys. I told him a nice dinner out one night would be great, don't get any funny ideas while on the trip!! lol He's actually over the moon about this whole adventure, because apparently that weekend is the biggest in Nascar circuit..the original Sat night race. Who would have known!! Obviously not me. I am trying to see if we are going to be close enough to visit any cool places, not likely but it will try. Anyhow, I am excited I have a plan with two great friends and well we are back at work for another fun filled week!

Weather is perfect for mid July (no a/c yet) and I am enjoying life...of course my house is wreck and no wash is done, someone really needs to go grocery shopping. I think I need a personal assistant, if only I won the powerball then all would be redeemed!!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

OMG it's Sunday night.....

What a fun and exhausting weekend I had. At the last minute Friday night, like 7pm mom called the friends opted not to stay so we packed up the car and headed for the shore. Woke up bright and early Sat morning had my coffee and walk on the shoreline, sat in the sand and watched the sun rise and brought some zen back into my life. I did a short yoga routine (I always watch them doing it on the beach so I figured why not) it was great, the sand actually allowed me to really dig in and feel the movements. So Sat was spent with DS2/gf/me/mom and her bf on the shore. We wheeled Ds2 down and he had a great time. I did too, the wind was a little too much but overall it was a great day. After the beach I took mom to one of the infamous bars as it was Sat 5pm jam and one of my buddy bands was playing, so she and I went and she met the boys. They loved her as always :) We had a few drinks, listened to them play and wished them a goodnight. As we actually arrived at the place, my gf up here text me they were going out to see another buddy band that night around 10-10:30, so we packed up the car again and headed home. GF had to be home by 9pm so that gave me time to shower, freshen up and head out. Spent a wonderful evening out with more friends and fell exhausted into bed last night.

I had a hard time getting up today also, but I finally managed it, went with a friend and we walked the dogs at the park and talked and caught up for about an hour while having some coffee. Then home, I still had no motivation, but managed to talk ds2 into going to the pool. So I worked on my tan some more. I'm exhausted, exhilerated and had a totally wonderful and relaxing weekend!

Now, back to our regularly programed tomorrow :(

But the weekend is the boat trip!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Change of plan and it's all good....

Mom had some friends in her condo at the beach this week, they asked if they could stay for the weekend so she called me at work today. Sure, why not, they are from the mid states region and I am sure they don't get quite enough beach time as we do, so we are here home tonight. A book I had ordered came in tonight at Borders so I went and picked it up. I also found out today at work today that I have won a trip to Nascar in Bristol, TN next month. Now don't get me wrong, I have no clue about Nascar, but I am up for a trip to a new place that I have never been before, plus I get to bring a friend..hmmmm I will dig deep on this one!!! I have a few Nascar friendly friends here in mind, but we'll see who's worthy of an all expense weekend in Bristol, TN Don't get me wrong, I love all my friends, but it seems like friend I didn't even know I had come out of the woodwork when these things happen!

Next weekend, we are off to NYC....again, I need to find someone to accompany me, and I have been wracking my brain over this all day. I hate to ask someone at the last minute, but I think in numbers it will be that much more fun!!

Tomorrow we have decided to drive to the beach for the day, we are packed and ready to go, so now just a good nights rest and some sun and fun tomorrow and maybe a good seafood dinner on the way home!!

I made it to the Y today too, weights, I did the whole circuit, I am quite sure I will also feel this tomorrow too!! lol

As for M, yes he and I are over, but in his mind I guess he thinks not, I had to finally block his number on my phone today because he keeps calling and texting....I just don't get men, and at this point, well I don't want

Friday and the weekend is here........

It's going to be a great weekend weather wise, I am hoping to have ds2 and myself on the road by 7pm headed down to the beach. I am packed, have my gym stuff in the car too for a quickie workout after work. Yes, I am putting my priority back in my life of exercise! It really has helped me through all that has been going on. Of course it doesn't mean I'm happy about the way this has turned out, but it is what it is Of course, he did text me yesterday, unbelievable was my opinion on that one. I have no idea why they always continue to self-medicate because maybe they feel a little bad about how they treated me. A simple sorry, or honesty up front would have been alot better. Anyhow, it's over, there is no turning back for me. But on an unhappy note, now I am single for the big boat trip next weekend. I do have a few friends Iam considering to ask to tag along, it's going to be a great trip as always down the Hudson River into NYC and by the Statue of Liberty, followed by a great dinner that night overlooking the NYC skyline and a sleepover!!

So with this I am off to work, I have alot to do today and we have alot of people coming in too!!

Enjoy the day and the weekend!

Thursday, July 09, 2009

No more

dating for me for quite a while. Last night was such an eye opening experience of how one person who you think maybe you might a small clue about shows you that you really have no clue at all. He never called, text or nothing. Finally I just ended up doing something I hate and showed up at his house for MY things. I got the attitude and the words to go with it. I really didn't want to go into the whole tirade but he kept pushing. I didn't get too upset, although a little. I was madder than ever that it had to come to this. The end result is that I am not ready to deal with this sort of stuff in my life right now. I have way too many other things going on right now. My friends here say, he'll call in a week or two when things cool down. Yeah, well we'll see and to be honest I am not sure I want to speak with him. It seems I have a knack of getting these phone calls from ex's quite frequently. Why? I have no idea but I think it's because deep down I always search for good in people and I never leave the people feeling any feelings of ill will. Who knows really though. Anyhow, today I start over. I have alot of work to accomplish at work, but that is not the only thing going on. Of course the ongoing care of the youngest. Tomorrow he is able to start putting a little weight on the leg so getting around should be a bit easier. I know he is looking forward to being more independent again!

My oldest son's gf is coming home tomorrow night also, 2 long months away and he is very happy she is finally coming home! He's been great about it, a little shaky at the start but overall very patient....I think that is very commendable!

So again, I'm off to work, tonight the Y and working on the issues with the wrist. I will succeed to get this back on track and getting myself well again.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

The verdict is in..........

I am waiting for him to get home so I can get my stuff. He totally blew me off again, and this time is the last time!

Tonight is the night...........

he called at lunch with a little prodding from me for us to talk, so I am supposedly going over there tonight and we are going to hang out and talk. What does this mean? I have no clue, I can't even fathom where I will stand when I leave tonight, so now it's time for me to call and let him know I am home....

Ok so that is done, of course he didn't answer, he never does and I am sure that he will bail yet again on me, because something better came up....I need to get my things so if he decides that I am not worth the time to talk to he at least needs to get my stuff out because I will be going to get it tonight!

So now I wait! as usual

Middle of the week, middle of the road

That is where I stand. I am really ramping up alot at the gym, found someone who is willing to help me strengthen this wrist of mine without me coming home and being in agony for hours after my workout. I am really excited about a new program I purchased last night too, for those days when I just can't quite to get my butt out the door to the gym! I have found my long lost love of exercise. We were almost like two friends who parted ways a while ago when I got hurt but have recently rekindled our friendship and for this I am happy!

DS2 is recouping, finally starting to put a little weight on that foot, unfortunately he realized last night that the cast will probably come off around the time that school starts :( Poor baby, but they are the daredevils and sometimes this is what happens.

I am off to the beach this weekend, with the wobbly ds2 in tow too, I need some R&R and away from all that has been my life around here so we are going. I am looking forward to those walks on the beach at sunrise that I missed with the girls and such. I just need some downtime and that is what we are going to do!

Other than that we are in the midst of summer, it's glorious and I definitely thrive in this weather, I probably should consider moving so that I may have this year round, but I am not sure I am ready for all of that yet, it's a thought though that keeps popping up in my head. The biggest con to this is I would miss the seasons and I truly love fall as much as I love summer!

So off to work, another productive day ahead of me and I need to get moving..


Tuesday, July 07, 2009


Back at work, yesterday was exhausting, but I did go to the gym and work out. Where did that leave me? Exhausted last night, I could barely keep my eyes open and was out like a light by I did have a great workout, trying to figure out how to get the upper body workouts back on rhythm. Ever since my fall in Dec, I've struggled with any weight I put on the right wrist. Of course the doc says I need it rebroken and then allow it to heal properly...eww and I didn't want to do that during the summer.

I am trudging along with my personal life, he did text me yesterday and we talked a bit at lunch, but I really don't feel any differently, I was able to put out there how I felt and where I was coming from during the day on Sat, did it make a difference? Who knows, because I totally put the ball back in his court! I am not contacting him, again if he continues to just be aloof I am going to make arrangements to get my things and move on. I think I should probably just make that my plan, because I almost wonder if there is anything left there for us to fight for? Some say yes, some say maybe, some say the jury's out on that all around!!! lol

The boy is healing, uncomfortable but healing...hopefully he'll be able to start getting around a bit more soon.....we go back to the doc on Friday to see how he is making out!!

Off to work, another day another dollar! geez do I really make that much every day?? LOL

Monday, July 06, 2009

Back to work

with a heavy heart. I was hoping maybe he would call, but I know the time and distance is what is needed. I was very busy with my own things yesterday so it kept me going all day long. I have decided if I don't hear from him by Wed I will call and make arrangements to get the few things I left at his house and need back. Unfortunately I would just leave, but they are irreplaceable. Struggling with me, who I am again. I have thought alot about what was said to me, I think the thing that shocked me more is how I am perceived and the part that it was actually told to me. I am striving to be a better person and to hear that I am not that upbeat as I always think I am...well that is a shocker, still recovering from that. I am moving forward, I wanted to get up and do yoga, but I stayed up too late watching a movie, so my gym bag is packed and I will be here right after work! No if, and's or buts about it. I need to get myself back in some of the shape I used to be, it always felt great and when I work out I feel good about me!

So, off to the trenches, hopefully the day will fly by...

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Twists and turns

and what I believe I have found out is I am truly perceived quite differently than I think I am. I am truly shocked and saddened to hear how someone perceived the type of person I am. Here I have spent years trying to change the way I am, the misery and pain out of my life and what has it left me, hardened. That is the only word I can think that sums up in one word what was said to me yesterday. So, the big question is.....are M and I over? Who knows, I think in my heart he wishes I were a little less hard. And if so, where do I go from here? Well I march forward as I always have, but this time, finally I have the opportunity of some insight on how an honest person perceived me. I hated to hear these words come out of his mouth, that I like things to be a certain way, that I expect answers on questions that cannot be answered right now, that I am a bad ass (that one hurt the most). What will I take from this, learning, insight. Something to genuinely sink my teeth into and correct. So, he's gone, to the beach with his daughter. He'll be back in a few days, and then I guess we'll see if he still has interest. I'm not holding my breath but pushing forward in my life right now, because it's the only thing I can do!

As I sat numbly watching the fireworks last night, I realized that this life I am leading is not the one I had envisioned for myself, but also the reality of what I thought and the reality of what is being seen are two different things.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Life can throw you lemons when you least expect it....

as far as I knew everything seemed to be going great for M and I, until today. I have no clue what happened or why it happened but something has. This is probably the main reason I will probably always remain single, because I haven't a clue.

So, I'm off tonight, by myself once again, to see some fireworks and hopefully enjoy the evening!

Friday, July 03, 2009

So here is it....

another award has been bestowed to me....Talk toTiff....a great girl to read and catch up with....

so I guess the terms are 7 things about me....well hmmm let's see....
I love....
1. Two and half Men...the boys and I watch it usually while having dinner every night...mindless humor
2.'s my release from life!
3. Pedicures - it's about the most girly thing I do for myself!
4. the beach - there is nothing like sitting along the ocean and being mindless
5. Thunderstorms - yeah they are awesome
6. Music - it is my release from life as I know it
7. good food - as long as it great and involves great friends it's awesome!
so here is the tag.....
hmmmm, I have so many great blog friends it is really hard to pin it down to seven, but in keeping with the spirit of the award here are mine!
and all the rest of you wonderful bloggers who follow me and want to participate...because I love you all!!!

A long week

This has probably been the longest week so far...we took ds2 to get his cast changed on Tuesday. Evidently he had an infection and they immediately put him on antibiotics so we spent yet another night and the next day in the hospital dealing with all this...he's home (well if you consider grandma's) home and he is uncasted and getting cleaned and dealing with all of this.....

He had no clue he was having any problems and well, to be honest I'm not sure how he would considering they had him so doped up, anywho, we are on the road to recovery. Tomorrow we go in to hopefully have the recast done. I'm hoping it will be the case, he is responding great to the antibiotics and cleaning and well it's just a huge pain in the ass at this point in his point of view and mine also! Not what either of us expected at this long weekend of celebration, but it is what it

So we are here at mom's, not exactly the place I want to be, but it is what it is and I will make the best of it. Tomorrow, we go and hopefully get cast and home! I miss home and my bed as I am sure he does too! So much for our year hopefully will be a more memorable 4th!!!