Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

No resolutions will be made for next year, my main goal is to be a loving, good mother, a friend, healthy and to try out new things that I would never have imagined myself doing in the past.

My honey and I are staying in tonight, I have a sinus infection and he is getting sick. We are making a nice dinner and watching movies. I'm sure we'll both be fast asleep before the ball drops at midnight....what a great New Years Eve date I'll be. I'm glad we didn't make plans to go out though as I would totally not be up for it tonight. We unfortunately spent the whole weekend resting and sleeping, I missed going to Philly for the extra in the movie Sat morning and only spent one hour at my gf's party. I was wiped and am still feeling bad, however in order to be paid for my holiday tomorrow I have to be here today and tomorrow!! I just hope the day goes by fast!

I haven't exercised in almost a week now with this miserable cold....I HATE BEING's one of the most uncomfortable coughing, sneezing sickness' that have come around in a long time. I hear lots of people out there are sick now and it's spreading around. How fun!! NOT

My roommate moved most of her things out on Sunday and she'll be out entirely by this Sat. I'm glad but will have to tighten my purse strings again, no biggie at least I won't be feeding them and it's not like she contributed alot of $$ anyhow.

Overall 2007 has been a time of growing, learning and finding what makes me tick, happy, sad etc. It's been a rollercoaster ride and I wouldn't trade it in for the world. I'm leaving behind sad memories, happy memories, a separation and the luck of finding a new man to spend my time with. My children have continued to bring me happiness and joy and of course sorrow too sometimes but I am proud to be their mother and proud of what great young men they are becoming.

Wishing you and your families out there a prosperous, healthy and fun 2008!!

Thursday, December 27, 2007


Couldn't come soon enough this week. I am coming down with the cold that has been passed around my home and work for the last few weeks. Woke up this a.m. with the scratchy, sore throat, yuck!! I'm all congested and trying to survive the last hour here at work. I am very excited though as I have a hair appointment tonight, I just wish it were earlier than 7:30 but I will prevail because I need my hair cut in a bad way.

Today was a busy, productive day. I didn't manage to get up and get my exercise in however, I think the extra 1/2 hour of sleep was warranted based on how I am feeling. Maybe tomorrow if I can shake some of this crud I will definitely get some new yoga in. I got two new dvd's for christmas and haven't had a chance to try them out yet! I have done excellent eating this holiday season, although no foods really bother me, except for the gas and carbs combination from hell, I have gained nothing and even managed to lose a few more lbs. I'm going to need new clothes again as some of the ones I've been wearing are getting big again, even after I had the pants taken in at the waist. They are ballooning around my legs and I look like a bad impression of I Dream of

We are coming to the end of the busy season here at work, thank god is all I can say about that one, combined with the separation, and all the other crap going on in my life the last few months have been a real feat of juggling on my part. How I have kept my head together during some of it is really amazing even to myself!! One more hurdle, New Years Eve, which is our anniversary. I'm sure something will come up that I won't want to deal with but whatever, it's part of the healing/divorce process and it's bound to happen more often than not with this one. We have decided to stay in on NYE and have a nice dinner, maybe watch a movie or two and hopefully drift off to sleep while trying to stay up and watch the ball drop. It's our first NYE together me and my new guy. He really is a rock in my life that holds me together when the "shit hits the fan" called my STBXH.

The kids are both home that night also, so hopefully they will come up with some fun things for us to do....instead of the standard, "I am bored" My sister is coming in Feb from Greece, I can't wait to see her, she's been gone since end of July and now she's coming home married and bringing the new husband who've we have all spoken with but only mom has met so far. I can't wait to meet him. Things are progressing nicely for their wedding here in July and I am very excited for this because truthfully I never thought my little sister would ever, ever get married.

I am going to Philly Sat and being an extra in a movie they are shooting at a church, a nice little chunk of change for a few hours of dressing nice and looking pretty, get my name in the credits and well hopefully it will be alot of fun and I'll get to meet some really cool people. I hope I truly feel better by then also!!

Back on plan with eating, cutting back, oh so way back on the carbs....they are evil and well just don't like me, thank god the holiday eating is almost over, one more party Sat and I'm done till next year!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Day After

Is tiring, I can't believe I didn't save vacation time to have off today as I feel like the walking dead. We all had a great whirlwind of activity the last few days and everyone was happy and satisfied at the end of the day except the STBXh....he is a whole different story.

Christmas Eve was spent with my father and his gf and her family, it was a nice quiet ending to a hectic day with good food and company. Everyone disbanded early home and I was asleep by 10:30 which was nice, of course Christmas morning the youngest boy was up with the dawn, good god he's 13 stay in bed until at least 7 if possible!! So off to open gifts, with his brother grudginly awakening before his time....then the scattering of the children happened, the oldest went to his dad's for the day and evening, the youngest wanted to go over his dad's early to see what he got there, of course his father looked at it as I wanted him out so I could spend more time with my guy and his family, which was certainly it evolved into a big fight and of course I was really close to calling the cops again, even the boy said "dad c'mon let's go" and of course he doesn't listen so a big to do about nothing erupted as usual. Now is the time to finish filing for the divorce along with the restraining order and the visitation rights and what he can and cannot do (like just walk into my home uninvited).....

We were off to my guys house to spend time with his family, it was a nice low key day which was perfect. He got me a ton of really great I have definitely met a guy who has a big heart for such a short time knowing him. We had a great time overall and I'm glad the holidays are over, they are exhausting!!

Hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and keep safe during the rest of this holiday season.

Friday, December 21, 2007

How can I be sick at Christmas

well that's an easy answer, UTI....ew gross, I can't believe I woke up with this yesterday. So off the doctor's and they said the test came back positive instantaneously. UGH, off to the pharmacy to get the drugs and some relief possibly? No, 1-2 hour wait....wth is going on, is everyone that sick at Christmas!!! So I go home and wait the required 2 hours, back to the store and now I have meds. Two doses in and no relief yet but hopefully soon. I am so uncomfortable it's unreal. So now tonight will be another early night in bed and hopefully relief will be in the form of being able to go to the bathroom like a regular person!!

Tonight my gf and I are exchanging our gifts. It's the only night her son is home until sometime next week. One - this is a good thing he'll be gone....two - I wasn't sure when we were going to get to it. Tomorrow we have a christmas party with my honey and then the rest of the weekend we relax, enjoy ourselves. Of course he's off of work till Wed, but not me...I'm in here bright and early Monday morning...GAH!!! It's the worst time of year to work in the liquor

Sunday is supposed to rain, AGAIN, I didn't realize I lived in the Pacific Northwest, I feel like every weekend we have rain, well yes we have or snow, or sleet for the past um.....5 let's just make it an even 6. Can you see the snarkiness and tell I'm sick and tired of rain....I just need to see the sun!! A little...please.

So I'm off to work, or try to pretend I'm working....enjoy

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Christmas meme (from a coworker)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?I prefer wrapping paper but have used gift bags
2. Artificial or real tree? Real trees smell wonderful in the house but upkeep kills me
3. When do you put up the tree? weekend of Thanksgiving
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually around the 1st or 2nd weekend of Jan.
5. Do you like Eggnog? nope
6. Favorite Gift you received as a child? probably the bike I always had wanted
7. Do you have a nativity scene? not a nice one, it's one of my secret wishes
8. Hardest person to buy for? my dad
9. Easiest person to buy for? my mom
10. Worst Christmas gift ever received? probably the sandwich maker because I dont' eat sandwiches...
11. Mail or e-mail Christmas Cards? mail
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Miracle on 34th Street
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? When I have money and time
14. Have you ever 'recycled' a Christmas present? I hate to admit it but yes
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? seafood
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? White
17. Favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night
18. Travel at Christmas or Stay Home? stay home if possible
19. Can you name Santa's Reindeer? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, and Rudolph
20. Do you have an Angel or a Star on top of your tree? Angel
21. Open the Presents Christmas Eve or Morning? Morning
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The whole political correctness of whether it is Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas, we aren't trying to exclude anyone but for years and years growing up it was Merry Christmas to me and that's what I say.
23. Shopping Mall or online? both
24. Do you decorate outside for Christmas or just inside? both, but this year has rained so much on the weekends only inside is done.
25. Favorite Christmas cookie? anything with peanut butter and hershey kisses
26. Do you own Christmassy clothing or jewelry? if you count the red sweater I just bought then yes
27. Do you believe in Santa? of course

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I'm ready

for Christmas. All the gifts are purchased and wrapped and the cards were mailed earlier this week. I have the meal planned and purchased and I am ready. I think this is the first time in quite a few years that I can say this and I'm happy about it. Now I can just sit back and relax and enjoy the rest of the season. Work is still crazy busy and the drinkers are out in full force but it is good for

Tonight me and my honey are getting a tree for his house and setting it up, I'm very excited he included me in this part of his life. It really is special this year for me and him. We have a christmas party Sat at his sisters, Sunday we are having Christmas home with my dysfunctional family and then Christmas eve we work till noon and off to my father's to spend the evening with family and friends. I don't know exactly what we are doing on Christmas day but I'm sure it will be full of traveling here and there. I'm glad I'm done, I feel a big weight lifted off of me because of this, I actually am 100% looking forward to the whole holiday season, even though it's only two weeks left at this point.

The STBXH is actually being pretty decent now, hopefully this will last through the new

New Years Eve plans and made and a quiet night at home with the family and my man are in store for us, a peaceful and enjoyable evening will be had by all.

Now if I could just find a way to stop nibbling on all the yummy and high calorie and carb snacks that everyone is bringing or sending in here to work, I'd be a happy girl. Today I had one chocolate covered pretzel and turned my back on all the other sweets that were brought in. I really need to stop the snacking as it is what got me where I was in the first place. I brought with me dinner for tonight, so we will have a good dinner home cooked once I get up to his house tonight, hopefully that will curb the urge to have something "bad". Only two more days this week to get through and then the next week. I need to find the control I had before to get me through this holiday. At least the scale hasn't moved, but the pants feel tight in the waist and I feel it when I eat too many carbs....bad for me.

I did get in my weight exercises this a.m. I need to really get back on a regular schedule of exercising as this will eliminate my feelings of fat and water retention. I have been so tired staying up late and then trying to get up early and exercise that I've been opting to hit the snooze, well last night 9pm lights were out and I was fast asleep even though I wanted to stay up and watch the rest of Dream I did feel better this a.m. and glad I went to bed early. I even had my lunch and dinner packed and ready to go for this a.m. so one less thing to deal with. More fruits and veggies and less cookies and chips and pretzels is my mantra for the next two weeks. Let's see how well I can stick with it!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One week and counting

I have two more gifts to buy and I'm done. Tonight is dedicated to wrapping until I can't or it's done whichever comes After that I can relax and enjoy the rest of the season!!

I have three big food challenges coming up this weekend into Christmas. Saturday we are attending a holiday party, full of good foods and of course I'm sure lots of them will be bad, bad, bad for the WLS patient. I am hoping to get in a good, healthy snack before we go and then it will help curb the binge eating of carbs I tend to do, more so even lately. I really need to stop with the carbs, they wreak havoc on my digestive system and well to be quite frank they make me gassy, but does that stop me, nope!! Also, Hershey's has come out (well not exactly new but) with a cherry cordial kiss. OMG they are a little slice of heaven on earth, if I could only stop with one every now and again, but no I think I had about 10 yesterday through the day and night....good lord I need to step away from the sweets. Again this morning I did not get up and exercise. That is two days in a row and truthfully I'm exhausted but know this is absolutely no reason not to take care of me which is the priority!! My youngest ds is still home sick, poor baby is coughing and the meds are breaking up the congestion but it makes him sound worse than he probably actually is. He's home again on the couch today, hopefully he'll be able to make it back to school tomorrow. I hope he's well for the holidays but from what I've seen of the colds and bugs going around in our area, well it comes and goes and then comes back with a vengeance.

Today at least I got a roast in the crock pot, with all the hectic work at the holidays I've been a little more slack on planning out my dinner meals timely so we are either eating very late, or having something less than desirable on the spur. Not a good plan for any person, let alone a WLS patient. So if we can all make it through the next two weeks we can all get back on track and move forward. That's my plan!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Getting ready for the big day

So the countdown is on, one week and counting till old St Nick comes to see all good little boys and I did manage to get a bunch of my christmas shopping done this weekend, which was excellent. Now I have to wrap it all :) I do still need to run out and get a few last things but it shouldn't take that long.

Spent a nice weekend with the kids but with my honey. We had a very nice time all weekend hanging out and doing things together. Sat was the funeral, it was a very emotional time for the family but it was a beautiful service. The rest of the time we didn't plan anything and just did things as they got done, not that we got everything we wanted to done, but it's ok as it was a nice time. The big nor'easter never materialized, we got heavy rain on Sat night and it was cleared out by midday Sunday. All in all the weather wasn't too terrible until those cold winds came in, now it's downright frigid and bitter, biting cold. brrrrrr

This week and the next will be the culmination of our busiest season of the year, I personally cannot wait until it's over and we move into the new year work wise...but not to rush things. Next Monday we work 1/2 day and then me, the kids and my honey will be spending the evening with my dad, his gf and her family for Christmas eve. NYE discussions came up, and since I do have to work again that day, plus both kids are with me since it's a Monday evening so we've opted for a nice quiet in with a nice dinner and just relaxing and maybe if we are lucky we'll be up to see the ball

I've been maintaining my weight lately, which I'm very happy with. I think I've found the happy medium of eating, exercise and my head...which is not an easy place to go to. Exercise has been good and I've been investing in more yoga tapes as they are my faves right now and make me feel the best.

Friday, December 14, 2007

It's Friday

Yeah is all I have to say....tonight will commence my Christmas shopping. I will get my guys stuff done tonight as he is working a gig and then tomorrow morning I'm rolling up there to spend the weekend with him. I can't believe how much I miss someone and when they call or email me I just smile like a lovesick puppy, sappy is what some call me. I am so happy!!

This weekend I hope we get rain and the nor'easter hangs out with the upper part of the NE I just want to get some stuff done here folks. I want to get all the presents bought and wrapped, my one small wish for myself to have accomplished before I sleep on Sunday.

My weight is dipping again, 2lb today, I'm not going to sweat it, I'm eating like a pig and the popcorn that showed up at work today I'm sure will be causing all kinds of wonderful gas and bloating later so...............

Kids are away this weekend and work is almost done, I feel my body relaxing into a place where I'm very comfortable and enjoying every minute of it. I actually would rather stay home by MYSELF than venture that's something new and exciting and I'm loving every minute of it....

Have a great one, everyone, be safe and keep celebrating the holidays. Tell someone Merry

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

One day at a time

Is the mantra I have to live by. I'm feeling good, weight is stabilized for now and well things in life are great. Christmas is right around the corner and well I haven't even started buying gifts. I did get my list ready last night, tomorrow is payday so I'm hoping to get alot of it done and over with this weekend. Of course Sunday they are calling for our first N'oreaster of the season, hopefully we'll get by with the rain portion of the storm, but they can be tricky and you never know what you will get!! Tomorrow I will be venturing out w/out the man and hopefully get his stuff done and some of the kids stuff too.

If I said I wasn't having problems with my roommate now I'd be lying, we'll see what she does since I've laid out what I need/want from this situation. I'm just going to say I'm not giving a free ride which is what I think she was looking for.

Saw the doc today for my one year surgiversary, he said I'm doing great, and if I wanted I could lose another 10 lb and still be great. I was kind of shocked to hear that, but he said I'm doing good and to let my body act naturally with the surgery tool and I will be a success. Of course we spoke about the rapid weight loss of the last 8 weeks, stress, life in general and he said that after having a 2 1/2 month plateau it was my body reacting to it. He told me to relax, enjoy and keep up the good work!!

It is raining cats and dogs today, I am supposing I will never get my outside decorations done, and I think if I don't get it done today I'm putting them away for next year, as they are cluttering up my house more than I care to admit.

It's a kid free weekend, lots to do and a funeral thrown in there for good measure. My man's aunt passed on Tuesday of a stroke, and Sat morning is the service.

Kids are getting excited for christmas and the days are counting down now. I am truly blessed to have a great family and friends and want to really enjoy this year with each and everyone of them!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The weekend and other not so wonderful things

The weekend turned out to be anything but what I expected it to. Friday night I slipped on black ice carrying out to the trash my old dvd system with surround sound, needless to say I have a big bruise on my foot (where the dvd system landed) as well as a skinned knee and a lump on my head from hitting it on the system also on the way down. Sat a.m. I woke up with the stomach virus and spent most of the day in the bathroom, well you get the idea. About 3:30 pm I started feeling somewhat human but at the expense of having to cancel my trip to NYC and hearing alot of grief from the other party (since I wasn't considerate enough to let them know I was going to be Sat night we ventured out to the mall, but I ended up sitting down alot and evidently was very pale and drawn. Sunday was the best day of them all and I got alot done as well as spent quality time with the kidlet and the man.

The foot is still sore and I'm still limping around a bit, but overall I'm good.

The not so wonderful things are of course roommate related. I really love to help out my friends in need but I guess my heart is just too big and it's getting stomped on. Without going into the boring details, she has a month to straighten up or she'll have to make other arrangements, of course this pains me to even think about it, but it is life and we need to act like adults in these situations. If I want to exercise in the a.m. and your kid can't watch cartoons, well tough, there are three other's tvs, get a grip. I am maintaining my weight for now and my next doc appointment is this Thursday a.m. I am looking forward to seeing his take on this whole weight loss situation. I am exercising faithfully again and trying my best to stay away from the mindless munching and getting my life back on track physically and mentally. My youngest ds told me this morning I look tired, I thought great it's only Tuesday morning and I already look I'm trying to make it through the holiday, I think it takes a toll on all of us and the worst is it is supposed to be a joyous time, not a stressful time.

I have my Christmas list made, the shopping will be finished this weekend and of course then is the wrapping, hopefully I will get it done quickly. I am making candles for all the girls here at work and they are partially done, so I think on a whole I'm on my way to completing everything in a timely manner to enjoy the last week and weekend before christmas in solitude knowing it's all going to be fine, of course work is at it's craziest also, so that doesn't help that I'm being pulled 50 million ways at once here also. It will all be fine, we will breathe a big sigh of relief at the end of the work day on 12/31 and ring in the New Year with great hopes and expectations of a better year than this one brought me. Of course it's not all bad, but there have been some major bumps along the road.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The next day

Yes it has come to a grinding halt the munching....thank god. Today I got up pulled out my cutest jumper and turtleneck, black hose and high heels, I am going to look smart and adorable and go to work and stop all the munching. Mission accomplished. I feel good and look good and that is enough to stop this mindless eating. Tonight my honey is coming down to watch the game with me. DS2 is going over his father's for the night and gf and son are going over to another gf's to hang for the night...sweet bliss me and my honey and some quiet, alone time!

Scale is down today, no sign of AF yet!! she is exasperating at times, and well I'm on a roll. This weekend is NYC on Sat and relaxing on Sunday. I'm sure we'll get into something.

Life is good once again, it's beautiful out with our 2.9" of new fallen snow which will be gone by tonight!! I need to exercise still today, but that can be accomplished later tonight.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Battling the food demons

Seems appopriate for me this week, two reasons, one is AF is due any minute now and generally I'm ravenous right before it happens and two the food that is being brought into work is simply to die for and I will if I keep eating it. I have a low, low tolerance to carbs, in essense they make me bloated and gassy, to the point of embarrassment. One would think that would be enough for me to back away from the table, but alas no :( I have been struggling with the eating these past two weeks, everything that I put in my mouth seems to call out to me and is a big NO, NO in WLS books of eating right. Water has not been my friend either as much as it should be, I don't know why or what prompted all of this to come on as I have been so diligent and by the book, but these past two weeks have ravaged my body and spirit and well in essence I have come to realize that I can't allow this to happen, quite plain and simple. This surgery and all the preparation before and after is a lifetime measure for me, if one is not prepared to deal with this for life, then move on and find other means to make your weight disappear. It was really the wake up call I needed to say, HELLO, I'm a tool, you need to use me wisely or I will bring you adverse affects. I liken this episode to a drinker, or drug user or for that matter anyone who has a vice and has walked away from it for months and then it came rearing it's ugly head, to feed that addiction. You don't win when you give in to temptation. I have worked very hard this past year and I'll be damned if I'm going to let two weeks turn my life right back around to where it was. Of course during these two weeks I probably used every excuse in the book to make me feel better about what I was doing, but in the end they were just that EXCUSES!! No more, I'm taking back my life and turning it right back around, more fresh fruits and veggies, water (at least 8 cups), lean meats, healthy grains it's what it is all about. Exercise, which hasn't been lacking but the want to do it yes at the end of the day I'm human, I've stumbled, fallen and now I'm getting back up and dusting myself off and starting over.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Welcome December

With this welcome brings some positive changes that I have been waiting for. To say the least November will go down in my history books as a bittersweet month, it was full of positive and alot of negative too. This weekend was a great weekend of nothing but Michelle stuff, it was great. Of course yesterday I was like the hoover freaking vacuum with food, I just couldn't seem to get enough food to satisfy myself, at least that day is over and I'm feeling back to normal today!!

I'm welcoming this month with a hopefulness that I wouldn't have dared thought possible. I think it really is going to be a good christmas and holiday season at our house after all. Last night the STBXH met the new bf, that was quite an unexpected thing to happen but it did it's over and it was ok, enough said. Me and the new man had a great weekend together, finding out that we are compatible on levels I never thought were possible....also just being together and doing things was a nice change from being the mom. Of course the older ds wanted to hang out this weekend and I told him he hasn't seen his father in a month so get over there and spend some quality time with him.

So here's to a great month, a joyous holiday season and all that happiness that I can spread!!