Monday, March 30, 2009

The weekends are so fast

Tonight the oldest boy and I are back on track and accountability to each other to get back at the gym. It is a must as I have been feeling flabby. I will continue to do my yoga but I need cardio and weights back in my routine. I am getting soft! I would like to see about swimming or pool aerobics also. I read other blogs and they do it and say that it helps alot, I don't know if my gym offers it but it would be nice. I definitely need a workout buddy to make me accountable to get my butt down there.

Also, my youngest son is going to his first concert. I purchased the tickets yesterday. I know he is over the moon (at 14) and will be seeing a few bands he likes, also bands that mom likes too so it will be a great experience for us. My dad took me to my first concert when I was in 8th grade, so I guess in a way I am continuing this tradition if you want to look at it that way. So in May he will experience his first concert!

I need to journal a bit more on my foods I have decided too (at least for a while) I notice that when the boys have chips or something I'm grabbing a few here and there and well I am starting to notice the bad habits sneaking back into my life, need to nix them before they start up in full force again.

Went to Kohls and Plato's yesterday, got some great clothes the boy and me. 6 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts and I only spent 80 bucks total. You can't beat that plus they are all name brands and in great shape. Also, got cute summer shoes at Kohl's and the boy got a new pair of sneaks, we spent almost that much just on those two items there!! But it was needed. I know he is happy and has new kix as he says. lol I say we had a great day and scored some major deals though!

Off to work, I'm late and procrastinating today, as I am sleepy and don't want to get ready but if I want to travel this year I need to get my butt in gear!!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

He's on his way home already

The only flight to get him back home early enough in the day left now. We had a great time in NYC, barely any rain so that was wonderful. I bet I walked a million miles. Ok, maybe not a million but quite alot. Wore my comfy shoes and it was wonderful. Today I'm taking the boy to Kohls and Plato's we are getting clothes. I love Plato's myself, it is a resell shop for higher end clothing for teens. Since I ripped one of my two pairs of jeans a few weeks back, I'm anxious to add to my one remaining pair!! lol

It's still cloudy and rainy here, but we were in such deficit of rain so far this year it is much needed. I am getting clothes done and want to check out the YMCA and see what the class schedule is like right now. I'm ready to get back into some formal exercise. I am meeting a friend for lunch who is passing through town on his way home today and just general things. I hope the sun comes out as promised and we do get up in the 60's later so I can walk!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The weekends are the best time of the week...

S and I had dinner last night, I came home and need to get my butt moving here shortly. Today is ds2 last day of bowling so I am taking him up there. Then up to my mom's and S and I are driving up to NYC we decided we will brave the possibility of raindrops and do some siteseeing then dinner and back home.

I am enjoying my new car, while waiting for the youngest's gf to come over last night we found out they were in an accident, it was horrible and we waited an 1 1/2 for them to drop her off due to the police taking their time to get there. Anyhow, I was one sleepy girl and late of course for my dinner with S, so our night got cut off short :( I have my plans an am flying down there for a long Easter weekend and we are going to San Antonio, I love that I am getting to do some traveling and seeing places I have never before, it is really great.

I am back on track with exercise, 4 nights this week....and I am very pleased with this. My jeans are getting a little loose too, so I am refirming up my body. I can't believe I let it go over the winter. So that is definitely a check to myself keep up on the exercise even when you DO NOT feel like doing it. I am going to get my butt back at the YMCA also, I haven't been since my hernia surgery. I was almost wondering if the workouts I used to do contributed to the hernia? I guess I will never truly know, anyhow I want to get my body and mind back on track and I am doing it one day at a time...

Enjoy the weekend I will

Thursday, March 26, 2009

New thoughts

Ok I just realized...S is coming in for a visit tomorrow and I am going to be quite busy all weekend...lol yes this whole long distance thing is really working out alot better than I thought it would....pics of the new car and me, coming....it's rainy and miserable here right now, tomorrow sunny and nice and I WILL have the sunroof open...lol So I realize I really do have alot of decisions that are around me, there is my friend the mechanic, M, he is has indicated he wants more, I can't see that, then there is R my neighbor, he's ok but in the long run, I'm not sure....then there is S in TX he is fun and we have fun and yes I'm totally drawn to him....so if I had to chose today...it's S


I will all let you know how the weekend goes, he's in at 1pm tomorrow my time.....

I got a car!!!

Could I be more ecstatic...NO

I'm so excited to have wheels that move again...yeah!!!

Off to get my plane reservations made as I am leaving on a jet soon again!!

More tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

How do you feel when.......

you feel like everything is happening at once.. Ok that was my day today! I am over today....but tomorrow is a new day!

Friday is the best day this week as S is coming in to visit.

Plannin on a vacation with the boys this summer.

I enjoyed my cruise so much I want to share some great memories with my boys now!!!

I'm tired, yoga is done, no walking, eating ok better than ok and no drinks in quite a few days so I am back on track!!

I have more but that will wait as tonight I'm tired!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Ok, so I skipped a day


Today was the first in 5 that I skipped my yoga and walking. I was exhausted when I got home from work and threw together a healthy dinner and relaxed a bit and said ....NO. So I will get back on track tomorrow. But seriously I don't feel I'm off track, a day off is ok now and again just not too many in row!


So tomorrow I am a serious car buyer, the check is in hand and I'm ready to shop, c'mon to me some great new,used car....god I hope I pick the right one...lol


My sweetie from TX is coming to visit this weekend, he couldn't stand the thought that I couldn't get there till the 9th of April, so he's coming here again!! yeah...I seriously can't wait to see him. I had my date last night, I thought it would be good for me to get out there and date and we had fun, friends kind of fun but it wasn't the same, so I am glad he is coming to visit. I am wondering where this is going to lead me, but right now my focus is on getting a car so.

Of course today is like winter revisited here today, what else isn't new here in DE...but soon we will be all spring and then summer so I am excited....


I ate great, exercised none and well I don't feel that I have jeopardized anything with the way things are going...yeah for me!!!

Back at the grind

Back to work today after being off for a few days being ill. I am finally really starting to feel much better so that is good. I am hoping to keep my exercise factor up since I've been successful all weekend at it. It makes me feel so much better which is such a great thing. I went out last night on my date with J. We had fun, dinner and a drink (ice tea for me!! yeah) and chatted but figured out that we weren't compatible but I have a another new friend.

This morning is chilly, back in the 20's I wish spring would just come and stay....I know soon enough it will be here full time. I can imagine what my desk at work is looking like and I am lollygagging getting ready so I need to get off this computer and get my butt in gear!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

What a great day




I did get out and get some pictures along with a nice long walk. It was in the upper 50's and just a gorgeous day here today. I am sharing some of the beautiful flowers starting to bloom, really makes my day to see them out finally after this long, long winter.


The boy was out too, playing basketball, and enjoying the day before he had to go to work. I'm glad I was feeling well enough to get out there....also all the cleaning is done and yoga (day 3) and tonight, I have a date. Yes, a real date, haven't been on one of them in quite a while so I figured it was time again. Meeting J at 6 and well we'll see.....

Sunday morning

It was a great day yesterday, sunny and in the 50's although the wind was a bit much at some points. I got my yoga done, a 45 walk also so that was great. I also got all the cleaning and wash caught up so I felt very accomplished. I also found out my jeep has a blown engine in it :( So that was the only bad news. So now to get those tires off to sell them, and I am waiting for my check to go get something new to me.

Today is going to be warmer, I'm going to try and get out there, I have been wanting to do some pictures for awhile now and the weather is changing and the buds are back on the trees, some flowers starting to bloom, so that is my goal today to become a wanderer and get outside!

Enjoy the day

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Starting to feel a bit better....

my friend the car guy is driving down this afternoon. He wants to see my truck firsthand and see if it can be fixed or not. Of course I told him, I'm not spending any more money on it so....then we are going to grab a bite to eat before he goes home. It should be nice, especially able to get out of the house for a change. Other than that the crud is starting to go away, I feel very tired still though so a low key weekend is in store for me..

Friday, March 20, 2009

I'm down for the count

I' ve managed to catch the horrible cold going around at work. It has knocked me on my butt for the last few days and I'm not happy...I can't breathe, having horrible issues sleeping and well I'm just plain old miserable. I am now unable to attend the viewing and funeral today also. boo :(

Anyhow, happy Spring...I'm so glad it's here!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Doing pretty well all things considering......

yeah, the final plans are in the works. I was able to talk with her mom, dad and brother all at some point yesterday. It is still such a waste, 30, never married, no kids and her whole life in front of her. But I always believe there is a reason for everything that happens in life, so I am waiting to see what this tragic event is leading.

Me, I'm doing pretty good, the plans are in place for a lot of things going on in my life, I might have found a car, the trip to TX is still on just pushed back a few weeks :(, and my drinking, has ceased and deceased for a few days now. I had no immediate need to want to go out with the girls from work either yesterday, so I look at that as progress!! yeah me

Eating has been ok, not the best as I think the stress is causing me to not want to eat, or if I do as soon as I start I can't continue. I'm sure as things in my life level out so will this. Also, exercise is back on track. Got a 3+ mile walk in last night too, so I've been feeling stronger in that area of my life. Overall I give myself a thumbs up as work is in progress once again :)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St Patty's day to all

I am spending it hoping that I will have a car by the weekend. I am feeling yuck still, ears are clogged and eyes are starting to feel heavy also :( I don't want to be sick at all!

My gf is maintaining on her own and well I'm feeling like blah.

I'm doing good with things, got to bed early but probably because I felt so sick.

I just don't have alot to say this morning but sure I will later tonight!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

A couple of things that get me through some days...

I love to have quotes around, in fact I journal almost everyday offline as well as online...good god I have too much time on my hands. Well I was reading a journal from last year, I have some poems I have written in there (from some dark days) as well as uplifting things that I like to read and make me smile. I want to share a few of these, actually I just want to put them out there for me:

"The question is not whether you love someone enough to die for them, the real question is do you love them enough to truly live."

"Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire."

and one of my favorites I read each morning:

"Life is too short to wake up ith regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

Enjoy, I just did...

I have given this alot of thought.....

and I am taking control of my life back. I have had it with the sleepless nights, lack of exercise and just plain old blaise way I have been feeling lately. I missed 6 phones calls and two text messages last night, why because I was so stressed and overstrung by the day, that I crashed hard and slept right through them. I would have liked to talk to at least two of the callers and I would have responded to the texts, but no I was out like a zombie.

Stability - the word for today on my gf's front....I hate it, I wish improvement were the word they spoke!

I have finished cleaning. I have cooked a healthy late lunch/early dinner. I have done my yoga. The weather sucks so I did not (or at least not yet) get in a walk, I actually wanted to take a nice walk to the Dollar Store, but I guess that will wait for another day.

I hate having no car, I hate having to wait on other's to help me out at their convenience. It's like being locked in a prison, oh and I find out today, no bus service on Sunday's. I know they need a day off, but I was going to venture to the mall...boo :(

So here I am, fighting off a nap because if I nap, I will be up all night. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will get up and exercise and not hit my alarm like 10 times and I will take charge of me and my life an get it back in order!

Sunday and grey again.....

No news yet from the hospital so for right now I am going on everything is well, I will be calling out there soon to see if I can at least chat for 5 min with her and make sure everything is ok. I hate not having wheels right now to go see her...it stinks. I am in the process of selling my tires on my truck (since there are new) and then getting the junkyard to pickup the truck and get it out of here. I refuse to put anymore money into it and it still not running. Anyhow, I want to say hi and thanks for my newfound blogmate, who happens to live right down the road from me. You have a great blog and I need to put some of that great positive affirmation back into my life. I had a great morning browsing through your blog!!! So go visit her.....http://ablogintherough.blogspot.com/ and enjoy...she is a great blogger!

Anyhow, it's Sunday, gray and chilly. I am freezing again today. It's almost 11am and I am dragging get my butt in gear. I have a few more loads of wash, the boy wants to watch a movie and I MUST clean the bathroom, it's ewie!!!

I am leaving the drama of this weekend behind me. I will be calling the lawyer first thing tomorrow morning and see if there is some way we can put and end to this once and for all...I mean c'mon folks, it has been forever and I need some relief!

I am going to try and venture out today for a bit...we'll see how far I can get but I need to start walking, grey weather and all!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I am back from the visit

and now I going to bed. I'm drained, she is definitely not well and all is not good :(

Saturday afternoon is meant to be peaceful.....

until you get the call that one of your good friends, who happens to be stricken with cancer, is dying. Yes, that is the call I got today, so I promptly got myself on a bus to her....good lord, she is a young one, 30.....I hate to see it..I'm devastated to be honest...but it is her reality, everything seems to be failing, all the treatments gone for nought....I'm so sad.....so I leave with you with my tears for my friend and to always remember that no matter how bad it is right now.....you are not dealing with that....

Early in the morning..............

because I can't sleep so I will blog. I am still a bit angry about the subpeona, I was planning my own trip down to TX to see my friend, of course the stupid lawyer fees will dash that unless I can figure out another way to gather the needed money. I'm sure the whole issue of his right now will be thrown out of court, like all previous ones because all he keeps trying to do is suck money out of me (since he still doesn't work as I gather).

So here I am, early on a cold, gray and going to be rainy Saturday morning. I want to work on the boy's room today, it will require a ton of cleaning out. I hope it will keep me occupied. I haven't had a drink either in a few nights, although after the whole thing yesterday it was very tempting!

I am ready for spring, warmer weather, and sunshine. I think the sunshine would be the thing that would really make me the happiest right now. Thank goodness spring is right around the corner for us.

Time for another cup of coffee, I will get my yoga done today and then start on the cleaning. I would love to watch a movie too, hopefully I won't get too sleepy and fall asleep during it...lol

Friday, March 13, 2009

Have you ever felt.................

so alone after surgery. Tonight, actually today it struck me, I have not felt the same way about myself or the way others have reacted to me since the surgery. It was almost surreal.. I guess it was my awakening...I've done the surgery, lost the weight, maintained for a year and now they are accepting me into their society. Ok, first I never wanted acceptance in your society, I always thought I was in there....and two..well yeah I have lost alot of weight but I thought that with that I would be a better person. I am not always getting the feeling that this is a true statement. I am true to myself, first and always. I always speak my mind, which in some instances have been embarrassing. But I just don't always feel like I am truly a part of the society I live in, maybe it's time to start something new or different, or maybe I just need to get to the shrink and work this out with her. I don't know but the feeling of disconnect is simmering under my surface right now.

Ok on a side note the ex....is grumbling, with another court ordered supeona(spellling here??) anyhow I don't know if I'm good or not but it has dashed my hopes (lawyer wise and their large fees) with a trip to Dallas and this all came after I thought I would be good to go....I AM PISSED AT THE EX ok I'm going to stop before this get's too out of hand. But what a way to start my weekend...thanks jerko!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Thursday's musings....

I know that people out there have their thing whether it's a Wednesday meme or whatever but I'm not always like that. Sure I love the meme here and there but what I post is me, raw and uncensored and totally me. It's a take it or leave it kind of blog I guess...I don't blog for the masses or really anyone but me. I have the great followers ( and don't be fooled I love you all bunches) but truly the beginning of this was to be about me and only ME!

I have always been a true blogger about me, the raw honest truth, lately no matter how bad it has been

So we go forth tonight not knowing our following but guessing. loll wel willll have funn.........

And here I thought I was doing so well....

I need to learn to say NO at work to freebies that come in liquid form in a bottle...at least for a little while. I only had two drinks, and promptly blogged, felt guilty and dumped the rest down the sink. GEEZ.....I felt alot better about it, got some ice tea and cleaned some and went to bed. I woke up today feeling better about today, although I still feel like the crud that was passing around at work is hitting me. My ears are full and my sinus feel like they want to burst.

But on the other hand, yes I think I am going away for my birthday, what a grand surprise, I will find out more details this weekend, as S is coming back to DE. He called me last night and surprised me with the itinerary....I am happy, I think it's a turning point on how I feel about R because he called too last night and asked me out for tonight, for a movie, I accepted but I didn't feel my heart was in it, S called and I was over the moon...hmmm see the pattern I am...lol

Ok, I'm late for work and of course they blocked blogger at work, I guess they think I am going to sit there all day and blog, who knows...lol

So for today, I am back on the wagon.........
thinking about what I to do this weekend..............
and hating that winter is back and the weather is colder again................

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

How would you feel if you knew....

today I fell I fell off the wagon...Absolut Mango given to me at work to experiment...Ok we have been here before ands it's not turned out so great but this with OJ it's the bomb...I"m hooked and off the wagon :( Seriously I'm not happy about this although I'm feeling too good right now.....


I hate this! I need need more control in my life....

Why would someone with so much before her become so.....easy.....

It's Wednesday

I'm tired, feeling gray like that day is today....had some great news today, ok you all cheated all read my former blog...YES I will be spending my 45 birthday in Paris France...GOD to same I am excited is an understatement....but ok I will relax keep calm and OMG no way!!! This is probably one of the biggest things that has happened to me EVER!!! GOOD GOD!!! I am still over the moon....

So more planning and packing and I'm gone to be flying the skies.....what a big year this starting out to be....

How would you feel if you found out..................

that you will be spending your birthday (ok it will be my 45) in Paris, France?????

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I have been a good girl...........

Do well with the whole no drinking thing. Of course this weekend is the annual St Patty's Day celebrations. I have volunteered to work hoping it will keep me from imbibing, we'll see how well that does. But overall I've done well, even last weekend, not one glass of wine with dinner, yeah me! I like feeling good in the a.m. too, sometimes those cobwebs are hard to erase..lol

I have to get back into exercise and soon, my body is definitely missing my rollercoaster of up and down with getting the exercise in. I am committing or shall I say recommitting myself today to get it done! With the longer light in the evenings even a walk will be more than I have been doing!

I have to decide if and when I want to go to TX, last night S and I had a little talk about where this may or may not go. We both decided to let it ride it's course for now, but he did tell me he hopes it works out, he is very shy of his feelings since his divorce (his wife cheated and is still with said cheater) and it crushed him so...........he is nervous of driving me away, I told him I couldn't be further away from him, but I do love his company and well we need to take it slow!

Spring break is around the corner and I have to decide if the boy is going to his father's also, because at the end of the day it will be my responsibility to pay for this...jerko!

Also, I have to find a new car, one that preferrably runs at this point...I've found a few nice used ones the but the reports come back BAD!!! so I am still looking!!

That is it for me in my life right now, short and sweet!

Monday, March 09, 2009

Mondays

A time of renewal. I used to hate Mondays, but not really so much anymore, it's back to work (thankful that I have a job) and it's about starting over. I like that, it has a ring to it that is good for me.

I was exhausted yesterday, got the cleaning done, but not the shopping :( I just couldn't keep these eyes of mine open! lol Of course the changing of the time didn't help either with losing an hour of sleep.

Today, work, work, work....tonight, shopping. I want to be caught up, and time to start looking for good airfares.

I want to get back into a walking regimine too, now that the sun will be setting later and the temps are moderating, it's time to get back to the basics in that aspect....I love to walk, thank goodness...lol Yoga is still my favorite, but I need to add that cardio back in my routine.

I can't wait to see the buds on the trees and the little flowers peek their heads from the earth, I love spring and the renewal it brings with it too, a time to start over......

Sounds like the direction my life is taking right now, 2009 is turning into a new type of year for me.......

Sunday, March 08, 2009

What is going to Philadelphia without a cheesesteak......











Ok....I'm a little rested from my whirlwind weekend. We had so much fun, I love spending time with S he is the best,by far....so we did the whole historical from the previous pics, we saw the Art Museum, Franklin Institute, I took him to the center of the city where when you look E,S,N, or W you see a straight street out in front of you. Philadelphia is steeped in education and history, it's amazing that I live in such a history rich area, but I do...lol Then after all our education I too him to Geno's Cheesesteaks....ok for no one who has been to Philly this is the bomb, he scoffed about the 45 min wait in line for a cheesesteak, but yes they are worth it...something about South Philly cheesesteaks that send the people crazy and yes they are good and worth the wait. He enjoyed as did I...of course I enjoyed my seafood dinner later that evening much, much more but to show him the area I live in and the culture here,it's so different than TX as I saw on my trip there...of course now I am planning my own trip back down there...I'm thinking during spring break. I hope my mom will take the boy a few extra days so I can spend a little more time with S, we really hit it off and had a great time, he's already texting me and I am so happy. Maybe this long distance will work, maybe not......

On another note, for those who remember the old neighbor up here, well I text him today to see what is up, I still feel that we are not on the same page, so we all know what that means...WE aren't!!! I've been through this enough in the past year to recognize it, but I hold on to the fact that he is here and S is not, is that wrong, or right...I don't know, but what I do know from the few men I've dated they would do the same thing...sorry I don't mean to stereo type men but that is what I've been through.........so me and my smile are going to get my house cleaned up.....

I am happy, weight is down, smiles are up and life is good once again!!!

The best




Weekend I've had since my trip...we had a fabulous time....spent the day in Philly yesterday and had a fabulous seafood dinner at a local eatery last night...All in all it was perfect!




Friday, March 06, 2009

I am on my way....

I am leaving in 10 min...for a weekend of fun and bliss.......

catch you all on the flip side!

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Another long day..........

at work. My co-worker still out sick and she is bad. The fired co-worker gave us all a start today wondering if she might show up and do something dumb. Never happened but she was calling alot and saying all types of delusion things. Work - busy. Me - exhausted. I am not having a drink again tonight, so I'm putting it out there. Tomorrow, he shows up, 24 hours and I will be out on a dinner date...

I need to sleep and be well rested for the weekend!

If I am not around, I will update you all on Monday!!

Thursdays and it's getting closer to the weekend

I have one day and my friend comes. To say I'm excited would be an understatement. Everyone at the house is settled into where they will be this weekend and I won't be seeing my kids until Monday they are so busy!!!

Work is crazy busy, my coworker is out sick so that adds to my load, but it's all good. Yesterday they let one person go, it was shocking because first they sent her home for the day and at the end of the day, she was fired! WOW

I exercised last night, first time in a while, and I don't know why I don't more because it makes me feel good. I need to make this my addiction :)

Eating has been great it seems to be the one thing I'm good at controling these days, of course it was the one thing I never had control of before my surgery, it's strange how these things in life change. I also had no drinks for two days now...so in my eyes that is a celebration. Each day is it's own and I'm handling them this way. I figure if I don't bring it home then I'm good.....because it's always too cold to go out after I settle in..lol

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

But I am going off in tangents tonight....

we have a fun fulled weekend packed with adventure and the adventure in my mind is will we connect. My son has consumed himself with something short of a miraculous weekend that would have left me lonely..

So there is a dilemna....isn't there always!!!

The old neighbor, R as I like to refer to him....he has been a saint but a little bit disconnnected along the way. So I dont' feel so bad about the guy from the cruise, because truth be told he has a dating website page that he told me about that he checks too frequently for my liking...but anyhow.....so I am going to see where my mysterious cruise mate rates....is that wrong to list him that way, who cares and who knows anyhow.....I am hoping for a lot and I am thinking from a few short text we will be good.......

well we will see....I am excited...fighting a demon and all a the same time...


p.s. I don't want you all to think I have kicked this drinking thing....I haven't it's bad a I know and it serious but I haven't kicked it yet I'm working on it but daily there is a reason not to and of course there a million reasons that I should....talk to me people...all of you out there no matter if you have never talked to me before.....please all comments are considered to be good!

Weekend

I am very excited for Friday, and am not sure what will happen this weekend, but the talk I had last night is he wants to see if there is something there worth pursuing off the boat. I am happy he's coming as we had such a great time on board. Of course that thought crossed my mind to, will the chemistry be there off the boat, the vacation and the magic that one brings to people's lives. So we had a little talk about it, and we are both adults and are going to pursue this and see if there is anything there.

At least the weather is moderating a bit too, darn it's been cold with windchills below zero here...brrrr

So I have three more days and then we see......

stay tuned, I know I will be..lol

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Ok the grim reality of me for the last six months

and no it's not pretty, and it's not smart and it's not a WLS person's way of life, but it has been my reality and I'm ready (finally) to share....



Ok, for those who watch Oprah or whatever talk show gives the vice for WLS that has been me, I have succumbed to this bizzare reality and no I was in total denial doing so....here is my bad story.....



I have thought about this alot, during the last few months...ok it's been like 5...I work in an industry that is prone to drinking.....for those of you who don't know, drink is reality available...it's really bad.. anyhow. I have gotten in the rut of drinking things (concotions) I should not.....so the long story short yes I have replaced the eating addiction a new addiction to drinking. It started out as a harmless drink now and again, then it escalated into a few times a week, then the stress built and I noticed I would have at least 2 drinks per night, then a few more and so the rollercoaster ride began. Once I realized how much I was drinking on a daily basis I totally stepped back, it wasn't pretty, it was good and it's over (hopefully) for good. I do now and again indulge in one drink, and one is the limit. It's not everyday, it's not more than once a week and I make sure I think before I put that addiction into my mouth. So yes, I too have traded one addiction for another, now to be more conscious about everything, liquid or solid that goes into my body. It's a hard road and gives me a new respect for why it happens, not that I am condoning it, because I am certainly not, but it has been my reality.

Another snow day for the kids

Day 2 and they have a snow day, I was out last night pretty late and the roads seemed fine to me...but they know better.

We have gotten the largest supplier kicked off and back in our house last night, it has been an intense couple of weeks for me, working late and getting my part of it ready, now the real work begins!! I am excited and happy they are there and the forward motion of this line is going to be a perfect fit for us, great vision.

I am counting down the days till my friend gets here, yes I am that excited. After thinking about it some, we really did click and it's a shame we don't life in the same city, I think something could come of it if we did, with this distance, well who knows.....but I am going to enjoy it while I can.

Eating has been ok, Sat, was a bust as I was feeling like crap and Sunday I ate like a fat girl and paid for it Sunday night...yesterday back on track, no exercise at all which is bad and lots of standing last night makes for some achy legs today :( so I will take my whine and call it a blog

for now!

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Sunday

and I woke up to a coating of snow...it was pretty but then when I turned on the TV well they said we are in for a winter storm tonight, 6-14" of course I'm in the middle of this range so I'm thinking 10" for us...ick!

Yesterday was a bust, I spent most of the day on the couch, napping and still got a full night of sleep, it was good. I feel a bit better today and have lots to do to get caught up on wash and cleaning. Of course tomorrow we have our big kickoff so I need to find something appropriate to wear! and it be versatile in the snow too! lol

My friend Susy wrote a blog last week about transfer addictions. This is something that comes up time and time again with WLS patients. Myself included has succumbed to this due to the fact that food is not our comfort in times of stress...I am not quite ready to put it all out there, but it's been on my mind, and to read her blog, well it has me thinking. I am getting closer, it's a tough love, to lose the food...almost like an alcholic or drug addict getting some help. It's a hard road and the decisions we chose are not always the healthiest for us! So not to be hiding behind the curtains (but I am for right now) I'm just going to have to think how I want to get this out there!