Here we are Thursday already! Where has this week gone?? Been really busy at home and work. A/C at home is broken, was able to borrow two units from a friend yesterday for my and the boy's room, so last night we both got to sleep in comfort!! yeah....it was a cooker in there, hot, humid and nasty with no breeze and everything just stagnant! To wake up to the cool was heavenly!
Work is tonight, can't complain only second night this week..lol of course I never complain when the cash is rolling in!! tomorrow night some folks from work and me will be going to happy hour, it's alot of fun and a good way to end the work week. Saturday on the other hand is up early, early to be at work at 7!! I will be in bed early tomorrow night!! Sunday regular shift, so all in all not too shabby.
Hoping to get back on track with my exercise, I have been a total slacker in that dept since starting the second job. I really feel I need to get myself into some sort of routine with this once again, I would probably feel better...lol
Eating is good, I still after all this time can't really put that many bites into my belly, so that is good....keeping the feeling full quick has helped alot in the maintenance. So now to get back on track with the exercise and all will be good.
Have quite a busy social life coming up in July too, very excited for a family reunion, it will give us all a positive note to see our relatives, instead of the funerals we had been enduring the past few years. Never a happy time to catch up with everyone! My understanding is a few out of state relatives are also going to be able to make it up, which is very good news. Also, friends are hosting a Crab Feast. That will also be a great way to catch up with alot of friends and the kids too. It's always a great party at their home and they are gracious enough to allow us all to come and take over! lol
The boy is entering into 11th grade this coming up fall. He has really grown into quite a nice young man. Still playing guitar and is making alot of headway with it. He writes his own songs now also, it's really nice that he has that outlet when things aren't always going his way! The other son, well he's a different story right now, not on a positive note, so we'll just leave it at that for now.
Still on the search for a place to live, it seems like this process is long and drawn out compared to before, but of course i am putting big restrictions on where we live plus we have the dog and alot of places do not allow pets of any type.
Work is getting better in the day job, it was really rocky there for a spell and I think things are smoothing out nicely. That makes me happy!!
Ok, going to see what other types of things I can get into for the weekend and I'll post again soon!
Showing posts with label WLS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WLS. Show all posts
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Ok....let's try a new approach
I have found that I need a forum to write. Whether it be a vent, or an update or just nothing much about nothing. So here I am, almost what a year, year and a half later. My blog still gets alot of traffic, so I hope that those of you out there reading are finding some very informative things.
Me, my life is in a current state of limbo right now. We sold the house last year, moved out in August and I have yet to find a suitable place to call our new home. We are currently staying with a friend (let me tell you, you really don't know someone until you live with them!! lol) and let's say times are trying at some points, but we are managing and surviving. I did put a bid in this week on a new place, so fingers crossed someone else isn't going to snatch it out from under me!! I have spent most of my waking hours either working the day job, or working the night job (which is new since I have left here) or looking for a place to move, or just sleeping and surviving. Living without your things, well let's just say this, It Sucks!! I have some items, but overall I feel uncomfortable and in the last two months have been made to feel very unwelcome here all the time. The solace is that I have all I need in my living area, which is very private and that is a plus!!
So, more about what is going on....let's see I have dated a few guys, absolutely nothing serious as I have no "real" time to devote to any type of relationship, however, I did meet a guy who I work with at job 2 and we hit it off. He is actually leaving the company soon, so maybe in the future there may be some dating again..lol I have one golden rule, I never, ever date anyone I work with, irregardless of the situation. Anyhow, other than that life has been pretty uneventful. Son #2 has now completed 10th grade, so two more years and he will be done school. Son #1 has become somewhat of a disappointment as he has moved to Nebraska with his father and has decided not to attend college, yet again. There have been some serious health issues with a few of us family members this year, me included. Found out I am allergic to almost everything under the sun, hence the chronic sinus infections I had been getting the last few years. I am now on a regulated dose of meds to help curb it, and so far, knock on wood it is working!!
I also managed another milestone of turning 47 last month! My family is having a family reunion next month, which I am very excited for....I am maintaining still, and this November is five years out!!
Enough for tonight, I want to get some thoughts together. Promises that I will not disappear into thin air again, as this is always a good forum for me to put things out there and help myself.
Me, my life is in a current state of limbo right now. We sold the house last year, moved out in August and I have yet to find a suitable place to call our new home. We are currently staying with a friend (let me tell you, you really don't know someone until you live with them!! lol) and let's say times are trying at some points, but we are managing and surviving. I did put a bid in this week on a new place, so fingers crossed someone else isn't going to snatch it out from under me!! I have spent most of my waking hours either working the day job, or working the night job (which is new since I have left here) or looking for a place to move, or just sleeping and surviving. Living without your things, well let's just say this, It Sucks!! I have some items, but overall I feel uncomfortable and in the last two months have been made to feel very unwelcome here all the time. The solace is that I have all I need in my living area, which is very private and that is a plus!!
So, more about what is going on....let's see I have dated a few guys, absolutely nothing serious as I have no "real" time to devote to any type of relationship, however, I did meet a guy who I work with at job 2 and we hit it off. He is actually leaving the company soon, so maybe in the future there may be some dating again..lol I have one golden rule, I never, ever date anyone I work with, irregardless of the situation. Anyhow, other than that life has been pretty uneventful. Son #2 has now completed 10th grade, so two more years and he will be done school. Son #1 has become somewhat of a disappointment as he has moved to Nebraska with his father and has decided not to attend college, yet again. There have been some serious health issues with a few of us family members this year, me included. Found out I am allergic to almost everything under the sun, hence the chronic sinus infections I had been getting the last few years. I am now on a regulated dose of meds to help curb it, and so far, knock on wood it is working!!
I also managed another milestone of turning 47 last month! My family is having a family reunion next month, which I am very excited for....I am maintaining still, and this November is five years out!!
Enough for tonight, I want to get some thoughts together. Promises that I will not disappear into thin air again, as this is always a good forum for me to put things out there and help myself.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Life, Part 2
Yes, I am here, my life has taken on a whole new entity upon itself. I am not that girl, who started this blog. I know, I know you say whatever. I have thought long and hard about this and well, it's time. I will keep the blog active, for now. Eventually it is going to archive itself into, well oblivion since I am sure that there is such much more useful information out there than what I am providing now or in the past year.
Did I ever think it would come to this? To be brutally honest, NO. I never thought I would succeed with the whole WLS, the fat girl in me was thinking that at the time. Not only have I succeeded but I am two short weeks from three years out from surgery and two years out from goal. I am still maintaining and happy with that. I have found that my life now does not mirror my life prior and that is the long term goal, to make changes and healthy ones at that! I am happy, although so much has changed in my life. Who would have thought that the overweight girl who started this blog would be a whole different person in just three short years. Although to me it seems life a lifetime, it is only three years! I have my health, my kids and my happiness. I am a better person now than I ever was in the past, and for that I thank the process which I went through to get to this place.
So unfortunately with this I bid adieu......I am around, in various places and forums, but just not here no longer. This life, the one that started this blog is no longer here.. she is a ghost of the past and one that has learned alot and hopefully helped alot of people along the way, but she is gone.
I am thankful for all those that went before me and all those that will follow in my footsteps. It is not always an easy road, but a fulfilling one, that is full of fun and challenges but in the long run makes you a better person (healthy) and that is the goal we are all here to obtain.
I will keep this open for a short while, then it will be lights out....for those who want to remain in contact, let me know...for the rest of you...well I will see you on FB!! lol
Thank you and goodnight!
Did I ever think it would come to this? To be brutally honest, NO. I never thought I would succeed with the whole WLS, the fat girl in me was thinking that at the time. Not only have I succeeded but I am two short weeks from three years out from surgery and two years out from goal. I am still maintaining and happy with that. I have found that my life now does not mirror my life prior and that is the long term goal, to make changes and healthy ones at that! I am happy, although so much has changed in my life. Who would have thought that the overweight girl who started this blog would be a whole different person in just three short years. Although to me it seems life a lifetime, it is only three years! I have my health, my kids and my happiness. I am a better person now than I ever was in the past, and for that I thank the process which I went through to get to this place.
So unfortunately with this I bid adieu......I am around, in various places and forums, but just not here no longer. This life, the one that started this blog is no longer here.. she is a ghost of the past and one that has learned alot and hopefully helped alot of people along the way, but she is gone.
I am thankful for all those that went before me and all those that will follow in my footsteps. It is not always an easy road, but a fulfilling one, that is full of fun and challenges but in the long run makes you a better person (healthy) and that is the goal we are all here to obtain.
I will keep this open for a short while, then it will be lights out....for those who want to remain in contact, let me know...for the rest of you...well I will see you on FB!! lol
Thank you and goodnight!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Do you remember me..........
the one who became absent and then totally didn't blog now for over a month! That would be me, the girl who started this blog over 3 years ago and now has reduced her posting to FB!! gah!!
So here I am. Prodded by an email I received, but yes it was time to get back to my blog. Geez my summer flipflops are still my background and we have welcomed autumn into our lives here!
So where do I begin, who knows, so this may be scattered and fragmented....please bear with me.
In August, I went on vacation to the beach, ended up sick with strep and bronchitis. I was on meds for over two weeks and it took quite a while for recovery. I did heal only to find out that a position was never posted at work for a job I was hoping to apply for. They brought someone in the from the outside and well realistically my life has turned upside down. I was bitter and angry about this for a while, but I am moving past that now.
My boys have both celebrated another year of life this month! I am so proud of both of them and they are growing up to be fine young men.
My youngest has entered high school, he loves it! He loves his classes and all the new and old friends he has there!
I have met a new guy, he's a keeper, we are having a great time, and I enjoy being with him alot! We get to spend time together when we can because of our schedules, but they are quality time.
Have taken some other vacation time off also, days here and there, clearing out my house. I think I need to sell and move on at this point because its getting too much for me to handle the things that are going on with it. But then again, I am not sure I will be able to sell for a fair price, so I have been doing some homework on that.
Lastly, I have a UTI this week which comes with complications, so I am once again recovering. I have found that with the WLS and illness (other than common colds) I seem to be sicker than normal, not sure if it related, but I will say it has crossed my mind more than once this past year. I have broached this with the doctor and he is monitoring this so we'll see.....
with this I hope to be in here more often, it's Thursday almost the weekend and I can't wait till 5pm tomorrow! lol
So here I am. Prodded by an email I received, but yes it was time to get back to my blog. Geez my summer flipflops are still my background and we have welcomed autumn into our lives here!
So where do I begin, who knows, so this may be scattered and fragmented....please bear with me.
In August, I went on vacation to the beach, ended up sick with strep and bronchitis. I was on meds for over two weeks and it took quite a while for recovery. I did heal only to find out that a position was never posted at work for a job I was hoping to apply for. They brought someone in the from the outside and well realistically my life has turned upside down. I was bitter and angry about this for a while, but I am moving past that now.
My boys have both celebrated another year of life this month! I am so proud of both of them and they are growing up to be fine young men.
My youngest has entered high school, he loves it! He loves his classes and all the new and old friends he has there!
I have met a new guy, he's a keeper, we are having a great time, and I enjoy being with him alot! We get to spend time together when we can because of our schedules, but they are quality time.
Have taken some other vacation time off also, days here and there, clearing out my house. I think I need to sell and move on at this point because its getting too much for me to handle the things that are going on with it. But then again, I am not sure I will be able to sell for a fair price, so I have been doing some homework on that.
Lastly, I have a UTI this week which comes with complications, so I am once again recovering. I have found that with the WLS and illness (other than common colds) I seem to be sicker than normal, not sure if it related, but I will say it has crossed my mind more than once this past year. I have broached this with the doctor and he is monitoring this so we'll see.....
with this I hope to be in here more often, it's Thursday almost the weekend and I can't wait till 5pm tomorrow! lol
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Neglected
That is the only word I can think that this blog thinks at this particular moment! Me, on the other hand, overly busy.
I am single as the day is long, that is a new statement in my vocabulary, but one that I must adhere by to get myself through the days and weeks ahead, because we have a new acquisition and it positions me to catapult my career into the place I want to be....so I need to focus! I have been working longer than normal days, much to the dismay of my younger son. I have been absent from homelife all around for a bit, because I lack the energy to do anything but cook a good meal once I get home, but the reward will be threefold to me, my family and my career. In a day and age where most people are losing jobs, I have this opportunity to catapult mine and I am going to do everything I can to do this, I am a very motivated person and I would love to see my self succeed at this! Ok, enough gloating about me!
My son is down to a mechanical prosthetis...ok that may not be exactly the right way to put that but the cast is off, he has a uber cool brace on his leg and is able to enjoy the rest of his summer, swimming included!! He has recovered so well, I'm very proud of him, but worry that his enthusiam will reinjure himself!
Me, I am maintaining, a grand 136 today....I hardly look at the scale anymore and I am still doing my slim in 6...it is really a great, sweaty, EASY workout but she kicks your ass and you feel it the next day....my clothes are fitting better once again and I feel better about myself...ok that is really a crazy thing to say because in my past life I would never have said that...lol
I am working too many hours though and they are really taking their toll, I want to get into the Inventory Mgmt field and this is my opportunity so I am going to ride it out and see what happens. What I have found out though is I have so many friends in the industry along with my personal friends who think I am doing a great job, well balanced is the word I hear alot...although I don't always feel that way, I am glad it is all coming down to that!! so please between you and me let them think that for now!
What else, I have no clue...I just passed my 32 months out since surgery....does that even calculate with you because it seems like a distant dream to me....today at work I wore a size 6 suit, very finely tailored that I picked up at a second hand store....with a smart shirt for our meetings all day...and I felt like more than a million bucks...no wonder I always envied the skinnier girls in the past for their choice of fashion because today totally suited me!! ok no pun intended... I had a old friend/supplier rep come in, he has not seen me in person since the transformation so to speak, he was in awe, same age and he was like you are gorgeous!! talk about some comments that make your day, especially since it was bound to be stressful.
Anyhow, enough of me, life is grand, we are spending all weekends from now til the end of Oct at the beach...and I say AMEN to that, coffee and peace and silence with my poochy (cole) on the beach at 6am and I am a happy girl!!
So in essence I am not dating, so if you followed for that give it up...lol because I have! well for a while at least and I'm leading the boring life for a spell.
Neglected? does this mean I am out there living my life and have no time for my cyber friends.....if so I mean no harm because I love you all, but life is good right now!
I am single as the day is long, that is a new statement in my vocabulary, but one that I must adhere by to get myself through the days and weeks ahead, because we have a new acquisition and it positions me to catapult my career into the place I want to be....so I need to focus! I have been working longer than normal days, much to the dismay of my younger son. I have been absent from homelife all around for a bit, because I lack the energy to do anything but cook a good meal once I get home, but the reward will be threefold to me, my family and my career. In a day and age where most people are losing jobs, I have this opportunity to catapult mine and I am going to do everything I can to do this, I am a very motivated person and I would love to see my self succeed at this! Ok, enough gloating about me!
My son is down to a mechanical prosthetis...ok that may not be exactly the right way to put that but the cast is off, he has a uber cool brace on his leg and is able to enjoy the rest of his summer, swimming included!! He has recovered so well, I'm very proud of him, but worry that his enthusiam will reinjure himself!
Me, I am maintaining, a grand 136 today....I hardly look at the scale anymore and I am still doing my slim in 6...it is really a great, sweaty, EASY workout but she kicks your ass and you feel it the next day....my clothes are fitting better once again and I feel better about myself...ok that is really a crazy thing to say because in my past life I would never have said that...lol
I am working too many hours though and they are really taking their toll, I want to get into the Inventory Mgmt field and this is my opportunity so I am going to ride it out and see what happens. What I have found out though is I have so many friends in the industry along with my personal friends who think I am doing a great job, well balanced is the word I hear alot...although I don't always feel that way, I am glad it is all coming down to that!! so please between you and me let them think that for now!
What else, I have no clue...I just passed my 32 months out since surgery....does that even calculate with you because it seems like a distant dream to me....today at work I wore a size 6 suit, very finely tailored that I picked up at a second hand store....with a smart shirt for our meetings all day...and I felt like more than a million bucks...no wonder I always envied the skinnier girls in the past for their choice of fashion because today totally suited me!! ok no pun intended... I had a old friend/supplier rep come in, he has not seen me in person since the transformation so to speak, he was in awe, same age and he was like you are gorgeous!! talk about some comments that make your day, especially since it was bound to be stressful.
Anyhow, enough of me, life is grand, we are spending all weekends from now til the end of Oct at the beach...and I say AMEN to that, coffee and peace and silence with my poochy (cole) on the beach at 6am and I am a happy girl!!
So in essence I am not dating, so if you followed for that give it up...lol because I have! well for a while at least and I'm leading the boring life for a spell.
Neglected? does this mean I am out there living my life and have no time for my cyber friends.....if so I mean no harm because I love you all, but life is good right now!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday and still counting....
I wish it were next Friday, but alas I still a little over a week to go. I did not get much done yesterday, so if I go to the beach, it will be for the day. I have alot to do here at home, but this weather is not cooperating with me. I still am feeling pretty icky with this cold. None stop sneezing and the cough. I hate allergies! They seem to exasperate the whole cold.
Had a great date last night, and I am truly grateful for him working all this out so we can talk/see each other live every other night. And for being such a dear as to move it up (time zone difference) since I have not been feeling well.
Today, back at work. blah I have not been in a working mood, although I am getting quite a bit done at work. I'm glad it's the weekend and I need some down time. Some rest to shake this cold once and for all.
The boy is enjoying his first full week of summer vacation. Unfortunately his gf's step mom is making it very hard on them both to see each other. Some people I just never get, there is nothing wrong with them hanging out, and they are kids the should be able to enjoy themselves. His other friends have pretty much been here non stop, I love the house full of kids, but sometimes too I need a break.
The older boy is missing his gf too! She is overseas visiting her dad, home July 10th, so his eye is on the prize and he has quite a bit longer than me to wait. I have enjoyed his company at home lately though :) He also wants to get back into school full time at U of De. I hope he can figure out a way to do this, but then I will have to buy his car from him. I am glad I didn't go out and buy my own, because then it wouldn't happen, of course his is a nice little car, so I don't mind.
Exercise, I have all but given up on it the past few days, I have had no energy to put forth any effort. Hopefully soon, when I start feeling a wee bit better.
The weekend is here! enjoy
Had a great date last night, and I am truly grateful for him working all this out so we can talk/see each other live every other night. And for being such a dear as to move it up (time zone difference) since I have not been feeling well.
Today, back at work. blah I have not been in a working mood, although I am getting quite a bit done at work. I'm glad it's the weekend and I need some down time. Some rest to shake this cold once and for all.
The boy is enjoying his first full week of summer vacation. Unfortunately his gf's step mom is making it very hard on them both to see each other. Some people I just never get, there is nothing wrong with them hanging out, and they are kids the should be able to enjoy themselves. His other friends have pretty much been here non stop, I love the house full of kids, but sometimes too I need a break.
The older boy is missing his gf too! She is overseas visiting her dad, home July 10th, so his eye is on the prize and he has quite a bit longer than me to wait. I have enjoyed his company at home lately though :) He also wants to get back into school full time at U of De. I hope he can figure out a way to do this, but then I will have to buy his car from him. I am glad I didn't go out and buy my own, because then it wouldn't happen, of course his is a nice little car, so I don't mind.
Exercise, I have all but given up on it the past few days, I have had no energy to put forth any effort. Hopefully soon, when I start feeling a wee bit better.
The weekend is here! enjoy
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
It's raining it's pouring.....
literally, it is coming down so hard right now I can hardly see the car in the drive. Sheesh what a way to start the morning. So I will waste time and blog. Great now thunder too..lol
The days are slowly clicking away awaiting the return of my guy, I can't wait to see him. I know he's busy, doing very well and having a good time, but the time difference between us sucks for late night phone calls to me :( I was so asleep when he finally had some downtime last night to call me.
I did manage to get my lawn cut last night though and that is good as it went far too long without a cut, and with the rain this week it would have been out of control later this week. I also dug into my dining room, cleaning it out and sprucing it up a bit. It's been on my mind for awhile so I guess the energy was there last night and I went for it!
Tonight, I have no idea, thinking a pedicure is in order. I am really trying each night to find things to do to keep my occupied, did you see that? LOL I can't swim because of the storms and the outdoor pool, but I can get my yoga in. Malibu pilates is my newest addiction too. I just love it, never was really much of a pilates girl, but this chair that is involved in the exercises really eases my knee and helps me achieve the workout I want!
Weight is still down, I am keeping it off, and just those few pounds wow do I notice the difference in my clothes. Anytime in my past life, if I had gained a few, I would just give up and throw in the towel and next thing you know I would be way up! I think it still amazes me how different my life is now!
Alright I have procrastinated enough, time to finish getting ready for the day.
The days are slowly clicking away awaiting the return of my guy, I can't wait to see him. I know he's busy, doing very well and having a good time, but the time difference between us sucks for late night phone calls to me :( I was so asleep when he finally had some downtime last night to call me.
I did manage to get my lawn cut last night though and that is good as it went far too long without a cut, and with the rain this week it would have been out of control later this week. I also dug into my dining room, cleaning it out and sprucing it up a bit. It's been on my mind for awhile so I guess the energy was there last night and I went for it!
Tonight, I have no idea, thinking a pedicure is in order. I am really trying each night to find things to do to keep my occupied, did you see that? LOL I can't swim because of the storms and the outdoor pool, but I can get my yoga in. Malibu pilates is my newest addiction too. I just love it, never was really much of a pilates girl, but this chair that is involved in the exercises really eases my knee and helps me achieve the workout I want!
Weight is still down, I am keeping it off, and just those few pounds wow do I notice the difference in my clothes. Anytime in my past life, if I had gained a few, I would just give up and throw in the towel and next thing you know I would be way up! I think it still amazes me how different my life is now!
Alright I have procrastinated enough, time to finish getting ready for the day.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Life as I know it.......
Was a whirlwind this weekend. Spent sometime with many friends doing various activities and nothing done in the house..lol I had a great bike ride on Sunday with an old friend and his sister and her boyfriend. It was really great to see them again and what a perfect day for a bike ride.
The house remained a disaster until last night, when I got my cleaning bug. I guess it just got to be too much for me, so I cleaned and cleaned and fell into bed at 10pm....up early to finish the laundry and off to work again today.
I have alot of things going through my head, at best it's confusing. At worst, it's undeniably devastating. I'm trying to work through it as the words to put it out there are just not pouring out of my head yet. It involves alot of decisions, and most of them are hard and not nice.
On the WLS front, well I'm down again. I've managed to drop 10lb since early April. I don't know if that is good or bad, but I am not complaining. I have gone totally organic in my diet, I don't know if that helped or not, but it is what I've done. I have also added a protein shake back in my diet after my workout. Supposedly this is supposed to help.
Exercise, starting pilates. I tried it before and never liked it, but I needed a change, so I'm giving it another go!
The house remained a disaster until last night, when I got my cleaning bug. I guess it just got to be too much for me, so I cleaned and cleaned and fell into bed at 10pm....up early to finish the laundry and off to work again today.
I have alot of things going through my head, at best it's confusing. At worst, it's undeniably devastating. I'm trying to work through it as the words to put it out there are just not pouring out of my head yet. It involves alot of decisions, and most of them are hard and not nice.
On the WLS front, well I'm down again. I've managed to drop 10lb since early April. I don't know if that is good or bad, but I am not complaining. I have gone totally organic in my diet, I don't know if that helped or not, but it is what I've done. I have also added a protein shake back in my diet after my workout. Supposedly this is supposed to help.
Exercise, starting pilates. I tried it before and never liked it, but I needed a change, so I'm giving it another go!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
The middle of the long weekend
Woke up really early today, was able to get alot accomplished already since the oldest is working and the youngest is at a sleepover. The weather has been just perfect for this long holiday weekend, which is quite opposite of the norm for this holiday weekend. I need to get out and cut the grass, but I have no motivation right this moment so I thought I would pop in here! I have not gone anywhere or really made any plans as my June is going to be quite busy on most weekends, so mostly housework, working on my garden (I'm building up my backyard one) and just general hanging out and enjoying the down time.
School is almost over for the year for the youngest, graduating 8th grade in a few weeks and then he has his summer. I've noticed over the past month that he has contacted his father less and less. I'm sure partly is from the outcome of the custody battle that I won (which excludes his father from any custody) and his constant lying to the boy about what happened and why. It reall is a sad thing.
As for S and I, well we've had quite a long stretch now where we haven't seen one another. We worked through the issues of this, although maybe I'm not quite sure it's over (the issues that is), he is coming up the weekend of the 5th and I can say honestly I'm very glad he is. Although in the back of my mind I always wonder. We are heading down to Baltimore for this visit, another great city which he has never been to.
As for me, well I'm down 5 lb, been working out more, walking alot and just taking care of me! I'm officially 2 1/2 years out now and while it's not always easy, it is the path I've chosen. I think that my life would have been stuck in the same revolving pattern of discontent had I not chosen to do this. My health and wellbeing are intact and the head does seem to finally catch up with the rest of it, eventually. But I can honestly say some days I'm still a little taken aback by the changes that I've gone through.
Ok, before it gets too hot, I'm off to cut the lawn, good exercise!!
Enjoy the holiday and remember what this is about, those who fight or have fought for our country, the ones who take the lead and take care of us when the world is not quite right!
School is almost over for the year for the youngest, graduating 8th grade in a few weeks and then he has his summer. I've noticed over the past month that he has contacted his father less and less. I'm sure partly is from the outcome of the custody battle that I won (which excludes his father from any custody) and his constant lying to the boy about what happened and why. It reall is a sad thing.
As for S and I, well we've had quite a long stretch now where we haven't seen one another. We worked through the issues of this, although maybe I'm not quite sure it's over (the issues that is), he is coming up the weekend of the 5th and I can say honestly I'm very glad he is. Although in the back of my mind I always wonder. We are heading down to Baltimore for this visit, another great city which he has never been to.
As for me, well I'm down 5 lb, been working out more, walking alot and just taking care of me! I'm officially 2 1/2 years out now and while it's not always easy, it is the path I've chosen. I think that my life would have been stuck in the same revolving pattern of discontent had I not chosen to do this. My health and wellbeing are intact and the head does seem to finally catch up with the rest of it, eventually. But I can honestly say some days I'm still a little taken aback by the changes that I've gone through.
Ok, before it gets too hot, I'm off to cut the lawn, good exercise!!
Enjoy the holiday and remember what this is about, those who fight or have fought for our country, the ones who take the lead and take care of us when the world is not quite right!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
UGH
Can I say this, I still feel horrible....I am trying all forms of help and nothing so far is helping.
I'm starting to think drastic measures are in store for me!!!
I have a horrible rumbling in my tummy and it is ending there...I will spare you all my gruesome adventures...wish me well...I need some relief!
and NOW!!!
I'm starting to think drastic measures are in store for me!!!
I have a horrible rumbling in my tummy and it is ending there...I will spare you all my gruesome adventures...wish me well...I need some relief!
and NOW!!!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Uncomfortable
That is how I have been feeling lately in my work pants. The band is tight and the scale has not budged...so WTF is going on!!! I'm exasperated, also constipated, so I positive this has something to do with it, but seriously folks, I look like I'm newly pg. GAH even the written word of that made me shudder.
So I have been taking things, to try and force the bowel movement, the one I NEED so desparately and then to see what the hell I need to do to get the waist going the right way! Which obviously right now is not happening. I have been doing my yoga religiously 3 or 4 times a week, I've added back in the weights portion of workouts on opposite days and the stupid stomach crunches on the ball! I'm weak in my right arm after the disaster (I mean) fall I took in Dec. My right wrist was actually cracked almost in two and I let it heal that way so the doc said let's leave it...me I'm not happy that I am having troubles lifting a 10lb weight with it. Geez I am glad I am not at the gym where everyone would see the girl struggling to hold the stupid dumbbell.....
I have been journaling my eating too. I'm not kidding I'm sick of this pudge or tire around my middle, I mean c'mon this winter was cold but I was not THAT inactive! I know something needs to change and quick...of course that is better said than done at this point of the game. I just do not want to see the scale start creeping up. I have had two nightmares in the past few weeks about this also. I've actually jumped up out of bed and had to run to the mirror in the middle of the night to make sure I did not gain weight (Otherwise known as my former self) how pathetic is that! My heart would be racing and once I even had sweat on my brow. I think I'm truly loosing it! If I am not, I should be. I think that since losing, I've developed this sort of adversity to gain and fat people. How sad is that, I was one of them for most of my adult life, I'm no beauty queen, skinny mini or rockstar but I have worked so hard to get to where I am, I'm terrified (especially when I read of those who returned) of being FAT again!
Ok, there I've said it, it's out. Do I feel better, NO. I will probably have the nightmare again tonight!
I've also done a stellar job of staying away from the booze, no easy feat when you are out in the public with drinks so readily (and being peddled) to you at every turn. I mean, c'mon what is wrong with society, there was actually a few times in SA when they were appalled I did NOT order a cocktail, um it's 8am I want coffee! Plus work, I mean I surrounded by lots of favorites each day, it's so easy to go in the back and get a bottle to take home. So anyhow back to me, yes, I've been good, I need to learn how to moderate, which is something I was getting away from horribly, but it's seems to be in control for now, we'll see how long this lasts..lol
I am 29 months out from surgery this month, actually as of yesterday. I've maintained the weight loss that I have achieved, no easy feat in itself, but man those demons are rearing their ugly heads....
So I have been taking things, to try and force the bowel movement, the one I NEED so desparately and then to see what the hell I need to do to get the waist going the right way! Which obviously right now is not happening. I have been doing my yoga religiously 3 or 4 times a week, I've added back in the weights portion of workouts on opposite days and the stupid stomach crunches on the ball! I'm weak in my right arm after the disaster (I mean) fall I took in Dec. My right wrist was actually cracked almost in two and I let it heal that way so the doc said let's leave it...me I'm not happy that I am having troubles lifting a 10lb weight with it. Geez I am glad I am not at the gym where everyone would see the girl struggling to hold the stupid dumbbell.....
I have been journaling my eating too. I'm not kidding I'm sick of this pudge or tire around my middle, I mean c'mon this winter was cold but I was not THAT inactive! I know something needs to change and quick...of course that is better said than done at this point of the game. I just do not want to see the scale start creeping up. I have had two nightmares in the past few weeks about this also. I've actually jumped up out of bed and had to run to the mirror in the middle of the night to make sure I did not gain weight (Otherwise known as my former self) how pathetic is that! My heart would be racing and once I even had sweat on my brow. I think I'm truly loosing it! If I am not, I should be. I think that since losing, I've developed this sort of adversity to gain and fat people. How sad is that, I was one of them for most of my adult life, I'm no beauty queen, skinny mini or rockstar but I have worked so hard to get to where I am, I'm terrified (especially when I read of those who returned) of being FAT again!
Ok, there I've said it, it's out. Do I feel better, NO. I will probably have the nightmare again tonight!
I've also done a stellar job of staying away from the booze, no easy feat when you are out in the public with drinks so readily (and being peddled) to you at every turn. I mean, c'mon what is wrong with society, there was actually a few times in SA when they were appalled I did NOT order a cocktail, um it's 8am I want coffee! Plus work, I mean I surrounded by lots of favorites each day, it's so easy to go in the back and get a bottle to take home. So anyhow back to me, yes, I've been good, I need to learn how to moderate, which is something I was getting away from horribly, but it's seems to be in control for now, we'll see how long this lasts..lol
I am 29 months out from surgery this month, actually as of yesterday. I've maintained the weight loss that I have achieved, no easy feat in itself, but man those demons are rearing their ugly heads....
Sunday, April 19, 2009
no regard
I will have to say that I have no regard to my GBS this weekend. I have eaten what I want when I want. The results. Well for me the eating is not too good, I can not eat what I want after GBS... I am one of those who dump at the slightest bit of higher sugars. In a way that is a wonderful thing. On the flip side...I can drink, as in alcholic beverages whatever I want... No matter how sugary sweet they are fine....WTF is all I can say. I have made my life of well let's say he finest boubons, scotches and irish whiskies, because hey that is what I love....and they are fine with me....but more than fine, they are way to fine and easy to go in an stay down. So no more beers (alseep 3 sips) and well I am not much of a vodka or fluffy drinker so.....I guess what I love is there. Can I say it's the best for me. Ok, I am sure the answer is NOT!!! and a resounding NO at that but it works, it's me and beyond the fabulous seafood dinner I had before leaving the beach it's all me!!! lol
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
The week is escaping me...........
we are so busy at work, it's not even within my scope of reason right now. Should I complain!! NO never because I have a great job, secure and busy. But sometimes I really feel like it drains me completely....
I have a full weekend of travel and then more travel with S this weekend. I am looking forward to this more than anything I have in a few weeks. Ok, so since he's been here. I am starting to figure out that this long distance relationship is allowing me the freedom to be me and then be "us" and I like the "us" when we are together. We really do click, we have such fun and enjoy each other's company 100% and then some. It is amazing to me that he isn't sick and tired of me and how I can be or whatever...but it's great and I am totally enjoying it. So Friday this week, which is approaching quickly, is a big travel day with a bit of down time once I get there.
On the exercise, I've been diligent, and getting some form in every day. I have even managed to drop about 5 lb....I did weigh, which I rarely do anymore, but I was feeling a bit snug in the waist of the jeans I wore this weekend, so I cut out lots and lots of carbs that I have figured out I was consuming and viola....the lbs are melting away...It still amazes me that I just have to be diligent and watch what I eat, because I truly do not get enough at any sitting for me to overeat, but a few wrong choices and bam!!
I know I wrote the other day that sometimes I feel like I am not living my life, but what I have become to realize that my life is not the same as it once was. I was stuck in the rut of thinking that things should be a certain way and me, I'm not like that so...when I started making those subtle changes, as they built I found that I was living my life, of course it's not the same life as I was used to but the one that is ME...I found this in hindsight to be profound. It still amazes me that I am developing into my personality, the ME, not the We or the US although there is nothing wrong with this, but it just isn't who I am at the current moment. I smiled too because this means, I'm there....I am at the place where I love and respect me enough to start sharing that with others....oh and I am so glad...
I have a full weekend of travel and then more travel with S this weekend. I am looking forward to this more than anything I have in a few weeks. Ok, so since he's been here. I am starting to figure out that this long distance relationship is allowing me the freedom to be me and then be "us" and I like the "us" when we are together. We really do click, we have such fun and enjoy each other's company 100% and then some. It is amazing to me that he isn't sick and tired of me and how I can be or whatever...but it's great and I am totally enjoying it. So Friday this week, which is approaching quickly, is a big travel day with a bit of down time once I get there.
On the exercise, I've been diligent, and getting some form in every day. I have even managed to drop about 5 lb....I did weigh, which I rarely do anymore, but I was feeling a bit snug in the waist of the jeans I wore this weekend, so I cut out lots and lots of carbs that I have figured out I was consuming and viola....the lbs are melting away...It still amazes me that I just have to be diligent and watch what I eat, because I truly do not get enough at any sitting for me to overeat, but a few wrong choices and bam!!
I know I wrote the other day that sometimes I feel like I am not living my life, but what I have become to realize that my life is not the same as it once was. I was stuck in the rut of thinking that things should be a certain way and me, I'm not like that so...when I started making those subtle changes, as they built I found that I was living my life, of course it's not the same life as I was used to but the one that is ME...I found this in hindsight to be profound. It still amazes me that I am developing into my personality, the ME, not the We or the US although there is nothing wrong with this, but it just isn't who I am at the current moment. I smiled too because this means, I'm there....I am at the place where I love and respect me enough to start sharing that with others....oh and I am so glad...
Monday, March 30, 2009
The weekends are so fast
Tonight the oldest boy and I are back on track and accountability to each other to get back at the gym. It is a must as I have been feeling flabby. I will continue to do my yoga but I need cardio and weights back in my routine. I am getting soft! I would like to see about swimming or pool aerobics also. I read other blogs and they do it and say that it helps alot, I don't know if my gym offers it but it would be nice. I definitely need a workout buddy to make me accountable to get my butt down there.
Also, my youngest son is going to his first concert. I purchased the tickets yesterday. I know he is over the moon (at 14) and will be seeing a few bands he likes, also bands that mom likes too so it will be a great experience for us. My dad took me to my first concert when I was in 8th grade, so I guess in a way I am continuing this tradition if you want to look at it that way. So in May he will experience his first concert!
I need to journal a bit more on my foods I have decided too (at least for a while) I notice that when the boys have chips or something I'm grabbing a few here and there and well I am starting to notice the bad habits sneaking back into my life, need to nix them before they start up in full force again.
Went to Kohls and Plato's yesterday, got some great clothes the boy and me. 6 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts and I only spent 80 bucks total. You can't beat that plus they are all name brands and in great shape. Also, got cute summer shoes at Kohl's and the boy got a new pair of sneaks, we spent almost that much just on those two items there!! But it was needed. I know he is happy and has new kix as he says. lol I say we had a great day and scored some major deals though!
Off to work, I'm late and procrastinating today, as I am sleepy and don't want to get ready but if I want to travel this year I need to get my butt in gear!!
Also, my youngest son is going to his first concert. I purchased the tickets yesterday. I know he is over the moon (at 14) and will be seeing a few bands he likes, also bands that mom likes too so it will be a great experience for us. My dad took me to my first concert when I was in 8th grade, so I guess in a way I am continuing this tradition if you want to look at it that way. So in May he will experience his first concert!
I need to journal a bit more on my foods I have decided too (at least for a while) I notice that when the boys have chips or something I'm grabbing a few here and there and well I am starting to notice the bad habits sneaking back into my life, need to nix them before they start up in full force again.
Went to Kohls and Plato's yesterday, got some great clothes the boy and me. 6 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts and I only spent 80 bucks total. You can't beat that plus they are all name brands and in great shape. Also, got cute summer shoes at Kohl's and the boy got a new pair of sneaks, we spent almost that much just on those two items there!! But it was needed. I know he is happy and has new kix as he says. lol I say we had a great day and scored some major deals though!
Off to work, I'm late and procrastinating today, as I am sleepy and don't want to get ready but if I want to travel this year I need to get my butt in gear!!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Ok, so I skipped a day
Today was the first in 5 that I skipped my yoga and walking. I was exhausted when I got home from work and threw together a healthy dinner and relaxed a bit and said ....NO. So I will get back on track tomorrow. But seriously I don't feel I'm off track, a day off is ok now and again just not too many in row!
So tomorrow I am a serious car buyer, the check is in hand and I'm ready to shop, c'mon to me some great new,used car....god I hope I pick the right one...lol
My sweetie from TX is coming to visit this weekend, he couldn't stand the thought that I couldn't get there till the 9th of April, so he's coming here again!! yeah...I seriously can't wait to see him. I had my date last night, I thought it would be good for me to get out there and date and we had fun, friends kind of fun but it wasn't the same, so I am glad he is coming to visit. I am wondering where this is going to lead me, but right now my focus is on getting a car so.
Of course today is like winter revisited here today, what else isn't new here in DE...but soon we will be all spring and then summer so I am excited....
Of course today is like winter revisited here today, what else isn't new here in DE...but soon we will be all spring and then summer so I am excited....
I ate great, exercised none and well I don't feel that I have jeopardized anything with the way things are going...yeah for me!!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Doing pretty well all things considering......
yeah, the final plans are in the works. I was able to talk with her mom, dad and brother all at some point yesterday. It is still such a waste, 30, never married, no kids and her whole life in front of her. But I always believe there is a reason for everything that happens in life, so I am waiting to see what this tragic event is leading.
Me, I'm doing pretty good, the plans are in place for a lot of things going on in my life, I might have found a car, the trip to TX is still on just pushed back a few weeks :(, and my drinking, has ceased and deceased for a few days now. I had no immediate need to want to go out with the girls from work either yesterday, so I look at that as progress!! yeah me
Eating has been ok, not the best as I think the stress is causing me to not want to eat, or if I do as soon as I start I can't continue. I'm sure as things in my life level out so will this. Also, exercise is back on track. Got a 3+ mile walk in last night too, so I've been feeling stronger in that area of my life. Overall I give myself a thumbs up as work is in progress once again :)
Me, I'm doing pretty good, the plans are in place for a lot of things going on in my life, I might have found a car, the trip to TX is still on just pushed back a few weeks :(, and my drinking, has ceased and deceased for a few days now. I had no immediate need to want to go out with the girls from work either yesterday, so I look at that as progress!! yeah me
Eating has been ok, not the best as I think the stress is causing me to not want to eat, or if I do as soon as I start I can't continue. I'm sure as things in my life level out so will this. Also, exercise is back on track. Got a 3+ mile walk in last night too, so I've been feeling stronger in that area of my life. Overall I give myself a thumbs up as work is in progress once again :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Getting back to routines
Is hum drum and boring I am finding. I am anxiously awaiting the start of spring, I am done with the cold, gray weather. This winter hasn't shown us tons of snow, sleet or ice, but it's been gray and that in itself does not go well for me. I miss the sun and well after a whole week of sun and warmer weather I guess it's hitting me harder than I thought it would. I love that at 6pm it's still light out, that is beautiful, sun in the morning and at night. In a few short months it will be warmer but until then we are stuck in wind chills and gray days.
I have gotten in some yoga, it really does help soothe me and gives me a bit of a pause and renergizes my day. I did it every morning on the ship and well I came home and stopped! Why would I do that when it is such a refreshing piece of my day? Who knows....but I'm back and well I feel good this a.m.
The boys are good, I hardly ever talk about them anymore but there really isn't much to say, they are plugging away in life. Last night my youngest said he likes R and is very happy I have met him. I'm happy he feels this way as he is my toughest critic...lol
Well off to find some coffee and makeup and get this day rolling!
I have gotten in some yoga, it really does help soothe me and gives me a bit of a pause and renergizes my day. I did it every morning on the ship and well I came home and stopped! Why would I do that when it is such a refreshing piece of my day? Who knows....but I'm back and well I feel good this a.m.
The boys are good, I hardly ever talk about them anymore but there really isn't much to say, they are plugging away in life. Last night my youngest said he likes R and is very happy I have met him. I'm happy he feels this way as he is my toughest critic...lol
Well off to find some coffee and makeup and get this day rolling!
Monday, February 23, 2009
First full day back at work
Spent the weekend with my guy, I probably neglected that this a.m. as I was VERY sleepy. Saturday he came and tried to get the darn truck working, about 350 bucks later and it still sits out front, dead! But the plus side is I got to spend the time with him, he took my son to the game store to buy a game, they had a ball from what I heard. Then we dropped him off at a friends as he made plans to spend the night, off to his house for a little adult time. lol I love spending time with him, he is very good to me and makes me smile and laugh....of course I've been here before but we'll see....
And yes I did spend the night with him, at last. He claims he spent alot of the night watching me sleep. How sweet, he lent me his truck on Sunday while he was in a tournament so I could errands done, it's really good right now....
First full day of the first full week of work, long day, need I say more.....it's cold, I hate it and I miss the warmer weather I teased myself with.....of course my friend in Tx still wants to come up, I'm confused, who wouldn't be...I just wonder where I should go and what I should do, but time will figure it out, until he really comes up with a plan I'm just winging it, I told him about the guy up here and it didn't seem to deter him so.
My boring old plain life is nothing of the sort, or so it seems.....so maybe stealing a little from my blogger friend Sharon, maybe my blog should be called My So Called Life, because it's a daily occurance that it changes....hmmm anyhow I like the mediocre, humdrum but seem to live a more exciting life, as my coworkers live vicariously through me or so they say......
I guess if I were them I would to. Who knows, tomorrow, I wake and we start it all over again....and see what happens.
And for those who care or what to know....today's weight - 136lb....so yes I have gained two pounds this weekend! ha
And yes I did spend the night with him, at last. He claims he spent alot of the night watching me sleep. How sweet, he lent me his truck on Sunday while he was in a tournament so I could errands done, it's really good right now....
First full day of the first full week of work, long day, need I say more.....it's cold, I hate it and I miss the warmer weather I teased myself with.....of course my friend in Tx still wants to come up, I'm confused, who wouldn't be...I just wonder where I should go and what I should do, but time will figure it out, until he really comes up with a plan I'm just winging it, I told him about the guy up here and it didn't seem to deter him so.
My boring old plain life is nothing of the sort, or so it seems.....so maybe stealing a little from my blogger friend Sharon, maybe my blog should be called My So Called Life, because it's a daily occurance that it changes....hmmm anyhow I like the mediocre, humdrum but seem to live a more exciting life, as my coworkers live vicariously through me or so they say......
I guess if I were them I would to. Who knows, tomorrow, I wake and we start it all over again....and see what happens.
And for those who care or what to know....today's weight - 136lb....so yes I have gained two pounds this weekend! ha
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The trip
I have no idea where to even begin, so I'm just going to say I had a wonderful time, met an amazing group of people on the boat and will never forget this trip, ever. I got to see this view every morning....
and this one every night....it was so peaceful and such a far reach from the hustle and bustle of my normal, everyday life. I felt so calm and energized on this ride....
This is a view, 146 steps up from the most southern point in Cozumel atop the lighthouse. The scenery no matter which way your turned took your breathe away. Here are a few more...
Everyday was sunny and warm, the skinny girl who hid behind a sea of cloth for years, broke out this year and wore a swimsuit, not just any swimsuit, but a tankini (it's no bikini) but in my book close enough, I wore my formal dress the one with the black lace, I had so many offers of dances that night it took my breathe away. I laughed, swam, climbed, swam some more, had a few drinks, well maybe more than just a few, I danced and danced the nights away and enjoyed myself as I haven't in years. I felt all the tension and pressures slip away. The thing I think though that I brought home with me is the fact that I can go away on a vacation full of buffet foods and come home the same weight I left at. It simply amazed me because before I would have easily gained 10lb. I made great choices while eating, exercised with the yoga instructor every morning atop the ship at sunrise and had fun...
I am home now two full days and am still smiling!!!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
WLS tv
Ok the new widget...is it cool or not...jury out, but I'm for anything to do with this.....I'm a survivor, someone who tries each and everyday to make the tool work to the highest efficiency that I was given...sure I have my moments the nice glass of wine or the oh so bad for you snack...but overall 2+ years out and I'm at goal and then some and maintaining just beautifully...if only everyone got that ....sigh
so what do you all think of WLS tv....would you be a guest???
so what do you all think of WLS tv....would you be a guest???
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