Last night and almost three years ago

Last night after settling in to watch the Eagles eat it...I was thinking about the trips I just made up and down and up down the staircase...I think it was like 4-5 in a row...I was taking the stairs two at a time almost running up and down...now back to October 2004 I was diagnosed with having no cartiledge in my right knee. To walk just across the room was just sheer agony, if I had to walk up the stairs I would wait until I absolutely had to, no up and down and up and down. In February of 2005 I had a partial knee replacement done but at a weight of 275lbs...OUCH talk about carrying the weight of the world on your knees. So after therapy was done and I was released to start exercise, now this was a grueling adventure that mostly consisted of walking, at a slow pace, my own pace with no extra effort put into the whole thing. I did manage to drop 25 lbs during this time, but it was really not that helpful, probably a little in hindsight but overall it didn't change the fact that I was morbidly obese. So off to Weight Watchers I went, in a whole year I was able to lose 19lbs...and then I proceeded to put it back on and then some....I'm sure alot of you who have had some sort of WLS surgery know this yo-yo dieting effect I'm speaking of!! Well anyway now to present day, I've run up and down these stairs 4-5 times last night in a row, I was just shocked and amazed and so happy of the fact that I could do it! I have come along way in this journey and it's only just beginning!!

Quickie on the doc

So I went in this a.m. Did I ever mention I love my ortho surgeon, he's the best, has treated me fairly and made sure I received the utmost care through all of this knee crap. I actually was about to embark on my WLS venture when the knee thingy came up and stopped me dead in my tracks a few years back. Ok so anyhow, he came in the room, said excuse me and walked out, then rattled a few papers in the hallway and came back in all red and embarrassed. He thought he went in the wrong room, he said I was "unrecognizable". As flattered as I was I still couldn't wrap my brain around that! Oh he's such a nice guy....well the long story short is I have bursitis in my calf muscle...He gave me a quickie cortizone shot in the muscle (can you say OWIE) and then I walked up and down the hall a bit and he sent me on my way. I should be good as new in a few days. All I could think is that I'm not screwed, I can continue with my exercise routine and god bless him. I know the fear that this would end my wls venture was reeling in my head heavily. Why? Who the hell knows, maybe GOD himself and maybe no one at all, but that is the mentality I am still having regarding being put in situations like this. Is it wrong? Is it right? No one knows, but I've been saved again! THANK GOD

Where did that pain come from

I've been having knee pain for about a week now, no new exercise or nothing that triggers my mind to say OW that's how that happened. So yesterday I called the ortho surgeon and have an appointment on Friday a.m. I'm fearful that I will become the person I was before, not able to exercise and that the weight will start coming back, in the back of my mind I know this is silly but it's the reality I'm living with until Friday. I don't understand why, 1 1/2 years after surgery and therapy that I'm suddenly feeling this way!

I did walk again last night, I almost will my body to do it while the whole time I'm in pain. I am struggling with my mind to make this go away.

I want to hide and come out when it's all fixed!