Another week,another absence

It's almost where I don't where work during the day begins and at home at night ends. The time change has thrown me for a complete loop. I have been extremely tired and just can't seem to get the hang of it this time. Plus the added strain from home and work and the kids and my guy and everything else....Calgon take me away has come to mind more than once. Along with a nice warm weekend getaway that I cannot justify in my checkbook at all!

So where do I begin....kid #1 is still being a jerk, oh I'm sorry I meant to say a teenager....he and I are at odds more than ever, but I make sure every morning before I leave him at school to tell him I love him and hopefully that will carry us through this rough time.

ds2 - spent 4 hours in the Children's hospital with him today, muscle strain in the neck from gym class...not fun, no food, no forethought on my behalf of how long I was going to stay there, I was tired of waiting around, hungry and edgy....other than that he's been a pretty decent little guy to live with lately...he's finally warmiing up to my guy and well.....see next paragraph

My guy - him and I had a mentally challenging weekend last weekend. I was mentally exhausted by the time he left Monday morning, so I guess I am seeing the beginning of the end here? I don't know, nor do I put alot of work in it right now as work is crazy busy, another sign that things are aren't going well....there's alot to say here, but right now I'm not in the frame of mind for sharing alot of it.....

Work - God I need a new job, but the economy and my checkbook says we are in a recession, I have a decent paying good job that is not going anywhere, do I jeopardize this or hang in there and try to work through it. The bull in me does not like to fail so I think stick it out...but only time will tell...

Home is a wreck, I really need a maid, again my budget does not condone this behavior, will it ever, maybe when I win the powerball....I am so behind on wash and cleaning and well everything. I haven't been cooking many balanced meals, in fact when i get home I not really hungry at all.....bad bad bad... I know

Weight - same, down to the low end of where I normally weigh, again the not eating is probably the biggest contributor.

My bff, well she is no more....I'm sad and grieving over this loss, but I guess it was a long time coming, I've tried to confront her with these issues that keep popping up, but she turns the other cheek and clams up, for the love of pete I wish she would just unleash on me the wrath and get it out and over with, no such luck, and therefore, no more friend.

So in a nutshell this is my absolutely crazy disfunctional life right now, I would envy no one to step in my shoes as they are too small even for me right now and way too tight.....hopefully the horizons offer some glimmer of hope that things will change soon.

Until then I hope to post in less time than one more whole week...until then ciao