Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Journey, Part 2

I have stabilized on my weight loss, I currently weight in anywhere from 135-140 depending on the day and the time i weigh in. I think for the most part I'm done with weight loss...so now I'm starting to think about plastics.

When I first started this journey I know deep down in my heart I always thought I would be so grateful to just lose the weight and well I didn't care if I had plastics or not, leaning towards more the not having them done.

Well alot has changed both mentally, physically and emotionally for me in this journey. I am closing the book so much as far as expected weight loss as if I lost anymore I would be too thin according to BMI, but I am not closing this blog it is simply progressing into the next phase of what I want to do with my whole body transformation.

Now this may get a little graphic for some but it is my blog and I need to get it out, down on paper and rationalize the whole thing so i can see it. I want plastics, at least a breast augmentation....do i want implants, well I don't think so but I have a consult with a ps to discuss the options and so that I can chose what is best for me. Do I want a tummy tuck, sure I would love one, do I want a LBL? No, not really, I don't have the excess skin so much in the back it's simply the flab on the front that is most bothersome to me. Do I want my arms and thighs done, sure but will I probably not....

Having said all this the boobs are first and foremost in my mind. I spent last summer wearing a bathing suit for the first time in years, and of course I spent my whole time in self conscious of my girls swaying like an old lady pendulums at my waist. It's embarrasing and well you can imagine how I feel without a bathing suit on.....utter disgust. Now mind you it's not the same as the disgust I used to have over the way my body looked before, but the whole fat loss has left my breasts, formerly 44DDD a deflated 34D and that is on a good day and saved by Body by Victoria bras....Of course they make me look hot with the bra on but you can't wear the bra everywhere and really I just have a mass of skin with no shape shoved in there to make it look nice...the perk with a shirt I look hot, without the bra, old lady sag....

So I'm starting to really think through what I want to do moving forward and well I think I've changed my mind about plastics!


Susy said...

I'm glad to hear your not going to stop blogging, I would miss your blogs. I say go for it girl. This is your journey and it's time to take care of you. Have a great week friend!


Amber said...

I am totally with you on the PS. I didn't think I'd want it before but now... my boobs are a mess too. :(

Incredible Me said...

I think a lot of us don't really consider plastics in the beginning. Then as we lose weight and see how our bodies adjust we change our mindset a little.

There is nothing wrong with a little ps if it makes you happy and you feel whole in your body.

Good luck.