Grieving

Tonight my gf and I went to a memorial service and viewing for another's friends father. Now, granted I have not actually seen this gf in about 15 years (her choosing) but we've kept in sporatic touch. Her parents were the best thing for me when mine were going through their own separation and subsequent divorce. They were there unconditionally for me, to listen, learn, voice, and just plain old support me. Why wouldn't I go to the memorial service. So gf (MB) and I arrive at the service, other gf is there greeting people, she greets MB, her mother, two brothers and then I step forward. She has no idea whatsoever who I am. Am I astonished, saddened, shocked. I'd have to say yes to each of the above.

I sit down with gf (MB) and tell her, other gf, she doesn't remember me. Her mom chimes in, she probably just doesn't recognize you. Ok, well I am there for her father, so whatever. Anyhow, I then find out her mother is too ill to attend the service. She in fact is so sick they felt that it would potentially do more harm than good :( Her sister is also not there, which is ok. So the neighbors well they are all there, and there were actually a few that did remember me. Hmm very interesting.

So I felt a little left out, a little humbled and alot of sadness for a great man who was an inspiration to me. Married for 56 years, a lifetime in my eyes to the same woman, whom he loved, cherished and adored to his dying day. The joy and comraderie which is something that eludes my life. Someday I wish to have just a taste of what it is they shared.

God bless you Ed, may you be playing golf on the big course up in heaven.