Thursday, June 05, 2008

Back on the mend

From being so sick. The heat and humidity are coming and the humidity is keeping pressing down on my chest light weights but I'm surviving. Going to keep breaking this mess up so it doesn't come back and turn into something worse.

Having total personal issues. Somedays I think I am just not ready for a relationship, is this wrong or right I don't know but it's how I feel. I don't feel lonely or sad just lost in a big, big world out there. Trying to find out who I am and where do I fit in all of this mess.

Personal, professionally life is in turmoil. I've been utilizing most of my energies to my job and my kids so it really has left little time for the relationship. Maybe I'm just not ready. A gf at work commented yesterday after a phone call, who were you talking with. I asked why and she said it sounded like the stbxh but it was actually the bf I was speaking with. Scary to see that it has gotten to that point, I guess in a way I know the answer now to trudge through and do something about it.

Weight is up, I am not happy. I have a new exercise regimine. I bought a balance ball, bands and mat. I love it. I feel my muscles tightening with each move I make. I feel my strength gaining. IT's just that good.

Today is my 18 month check up. Anxious to see my labs based on how I have been feeling. Well I guess if I get ready I'll know sooner than later.

Until later.

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