Monday, February 04, 2008

Long time no here

I'm back, the whole big brother is watching over me and not allowing me to blog during the day has really cramped my style. I miss coming in and writing down my feelings, happenings and what is going on in general with stuff. I miss coming and reading about my friends and all their wonderful things going on along with the not so wonderful sometimes. I miss the support that I get from knowing that you all are only a click away when I am feeling down or just need a friend. I haven't been in to blog in almost a week, I think the last time I did that was when I was on vacation and that was fun.....

Work has been crazy, if it can go wrong it is, I'm munching horribly to prove it. Those bad habits reared their ugly heads last Wed and well to be honest haven't really gone away that much, so what am I doing to compensate, well I'm not eating properly. I'm not doing the six mini meals that I have been doing. In fact on Sat night I had one bite and declared myself done dinner. This came to many unapproving eyes as they know what I am up to. I'm eating bad things, wrong things or too much of something and I'm not eating when it's time to eat the good stuff. I know it is totally unacceptable. I'm a victim of circumstance I tell myself, but today, six days later I find myself the same victim of this circumstance that isn't even part of my life anymore. Two bites of chicken parm tonight and I'm done. I'm having a decaf coffee right now and well, I need to eat a balanced meal.

My STBXH is a total asshole, he is about to be evicted from his apt he shares with the lady friend, and he thinks I should bail him out. Yeah like never, ever in a million years, I didn't not pay your bill that is your problem not mine. I've been diligent albeit broke in getting mine paid, I feel no remorse or platitude to help him out. Call me cold, hard or just indifferent but that is how it is. Not my problem anymore. If you didn't go out and party too much or buy whatever or just plain go to work so you get a whole paycheck maybe, just maybe you wouldn't be there. Anyhow, I'm not helping him out. In fact the biggest kick I received on Friday was him (STBXH) if I would ask my man if he would loan me the $$ to give to him. Balls, that is all I have to say on that subject.

I am 14 months out of surgery. I've been told I'm too thin, I'm gaining weight back, I don't eat enough, I eat too much, wrong foods, too healthy, ok you get the jist, everyone seems to know what is right for me. How about me, don't you think for one minute that maybe I might know what is best for ME! Amazing concept, really.

Had a great weekend, got lots of great stuff done, went to the movies with the boy #2 and out and about, of course he thinks everytime someone goes to the store he's entitled to something and I had to pull the plug on him just as I had to do earlier with his brother. I'm not a bank, nor will I ever be one....

So exercise is good, belly dancing is still going well, although I'm really not adept in the practice yet, but I'm working on it. It's lots of fun and if you ever get the opportunity you should definitely take it.

1 comment:

Susy said...

I've miss you blogging Michelle. Glad to see you back blgging again today. Glad you are well. Don't blame you not one bit on not bailing your x out. BaLLs- you had that right for sure. WOW Take care