Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Battling the food demons

Seems appopriate for me this week, two reasons, one is AF is due any minute now and generally I'm ravenous right before it happens and two the food that is being brought into work is simply to die for and I will if I keep eating it. I have a low, low tolerance to carbs, in essense they make me bloated and gassy, to the point of embarrassment. One would think that would be enough for me to back away from the table, but alas no :( I have been struggling with the eating these past two weeks, everything that I put in my mouth seems to call out to me and is a big NO, NO in WLS books of eating right. Water has not been my friend either as much as it should be, I don't know why or what prompted all of this to come on as I have been so diligent and by the book, but these past two weeks have ravaged my body and spirit and well in essence I have come to realize that I can't allow this to happen, quite plain and simple. This surgery and all the preparation before and after is a lifetime measure for me, if one is not prepared to deal with this for life, then move on and find other means to make your weight disappear. It was really the wake up call I needed to say, HELLO, I'm a tool, you need to use me wisely or I will bring you adverse affects. I liken this episode to a drinker, or drug user or for that matter anyone who has a vice and has walked away from it for months and then it came rearing it's ugly head, to feed that addiction. You don't win when you give in to temptation. I have worked very hard this past year and I'll be damned if I'm going to let two weeks turn my life right back around to where it was. Of course during these two weeks I probably used every excuse in the book to make me feel better about what I was doing, but in the end they were just that EXCUSES!! No more, I'm taking back my life and turning it right back around, more fresh fruits and veggies, water (at least 8 cups), lean meats, healthy grains it's what it is all about. Exercise, which hasn't been lacking but the want to do it yes at the end of the day I'm human, I've stumbled, fallen and now I'm getting back up and dusting myself off and starting over.

1 comment:

Susy said...

I really always enjoy your blog. Honesty, being straight foward, and tying to learn from all this, is some of the things I enjoy in you. That's why you will be successful Michelle! :)