Tuesday, November 20, 2007

One year Surgiversary

Today is the day, at this time one year ago I was being wheeled into the OR and the beginning of my new life was right around the corner. It has been a year filled with ups and downs and good and bad and a lot of new and exciting things are happening. In one year I've gone from 256.5 to 137.5 for a total loss of 119lb. That is a teenage girl for goodness sake. I stand at 5'5" so for me I'm in the normal height/weight range. I know sometimes when I read other's blogs I wonder how tall they are for their weight, as everyone always looks so fabulous. I have a hard time sometimes realizing it's been a year. The trials and tribulations that make life work are amazing, and for me it's a new life, from top to bottom. Soon to be xh and I seem to be working through things well, I have a new man in my life, whom I'm simply head over heels with right now (and I hope this doesn't change), my children are wonderful and I have alot to be thankful for. It's a time for me to reflect on the last year and to see just how far I've come. I feel like a Virginia Slims advertisement..lol I will get to enjoy a healthy thanksgiving with my family (well the part that is up here) and am very thankful for the opportunties that I have been given as well as those I have taken.

In reflection I have learned alot about myself, who I truly am or could say truly was hiding under the "fat suit". I have come to love myself for who I am and what I am and are becoming. I know that I am a good person, a kind person and very loving. I also know that my worth and self dignity have been restored to a higher level than I have ever had in my entire life. I am loved by myself and others. It has been a challenge per se to see some of these qualities in myself as I have seemingly "existed" prior to surgery. I still have issues with my body, but they lie in the fact that in losing the weight I have pockets of skin that are left over. I am happy though with myself and how I look and who I am. I think for the first time in my life I can actually say with overall confidence that I have turned into the person inside and outside that I always knew I was. My blog started out with a blurb to say I wanted WLS to turn into this person and that was a personal goal of mine. I'm happy to say I've accomplished this goal.

The next year will still be full of new and exciting challenges. I know now that I'm almost out of the window of weight loss. Although right this minute I am still losing, I know this time period is quickly drawing to a close. I now need to implement all these wonderful things I've learned to be the success I know I can be. Personally, professionally and mentally there are still alot of challenges that I know I have to endure this coming year. I feel that I have become a better prepared person not to run to the bag of chips or 1/2 gallon of ice cream when the chips are down, but I have learned there are new and more positive ways to channel this bad energy. It will be a year of growth and hopefully the beginning of something new and wonderful for me. So in addition to looking forward to year two of post op life, I am also looking forward to the new year 2008, it will be full of surprises and good things.


arielfreak said...

Happy, happy surgiversary!!!
What a wild ride this first year was, huh?
I was so thrilled to read about your personal goal of finding that person inside.

Wishing you all the best for the future, and again happy anniversary, this is a very special day.

Danyele said...

Happy Surgiversary to you!

You've done such a marvelous job, inside and out.

Susy said...

Bravo! Great blog Michelle. Take it and run with it. Happy first year down to you with and hope there are more with a better you! Enjoy your Thangsgiving and family.

Dagny said...

Many congratulations! The most pivotal year is over and year number two will be about trying to settle into the rest of your life. Your new life....
Good luck!