This is now the start of the hard part, or so they say. I went to an emergency therapy last night and my doc was very glad I called her with this emergency session to get my feelings out there for me and her to help me through this. I am stronger is what I realized, I did not hold back and with that came a clarity that I knew was in there but the lightbulb went off. I don't like to make my posts so down and humdrum, but unfortunately this is my life right now. DH and I had a bit of a chat last night about it, or shall I say he yelled and I listened, again it is 100% my fault, he is willing to take none of the blame or share any of the responsibility for this falling out. hmmm takes two to tango comes to mind!
Anyhow, I felt good last night (except for these allergies which are driving me crazy) I actually felt sorry for him and the way he was acting, I'm sure the sad and depressed part will come soon, but right now I feel like a brick wall was liberated from my shoulders. It will be a struggle to become a single mother again but I did it before and I'll do it again...
I ran the elliptical at lunch yesterday, it's my best de-stressing tool right now, I ran so hard I did over 4 miles in 30 min....I was huffing it. Needless to say I had to quickly regroup and get back to work but man did it feel good, liberating is the word I love to use now. It gives me alot of time to think in solidarity and that is exactly what I need right now.
On a lighter note, a friend of one of my friends is considering wls...he's a great guy and I wish him all the luck with whatever avenue he pursues. I think he's a great candidate is doing it for all the right reasons. YEAH!!
2 comments:
Exercise is the best tool you can use to get yourself into a frame of mind that is positive. The more you exercise the better you will feel. You can get the courage to do anything you need to do—even leaving a relationship that isn't working. I wish you all the best of luck in your future. It will be bright.
I'm sorry to hear about your relationship problems. I will be married 20 years this May, and we have endured some ups and downs, but managed to come through them okay. I love the old fart. Just know you have a cyber shoulder, so to speak.
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