Monday, September 22, 2008

As I approach two years out

and I know I have read this before but here is my take on it. I started this blog pre-WLS to help me and possibly others in their journey. It's alot different than I first expected. Had I written a journal entry of my expectations and how I thought i would feel at this point I'm sure it would have been totally different than the reality. As I am approaching my two year point, my weight is stable, my labs are good, I feel great and I have a new life. This is all what I wanted but not the way I wanted it to happen, I've been through a divorce, I have lost many, many good (or supposedly) friends along the way, I've met new only to discover they aren't who I am.

And that brings me to the big question, one I've been pondering alot lately, "Who am I?", "What do I want out of life and in my life?". I really have lived in the shadow of others tremendously the past few years, not good. I've had to rediscover my passions, wants, needs and who I am. I have had to dig deep, I've put myself out there to date again, only to pull myself off the market. Why, I wasn't ready. I really didn't know about me enough to share with another. I am definitely growing and learning and leading a totally different life than I did a mere two years ago. And to be honest at this point it's all good, yes it's been rough, alot of soul searching and well alot of mistakes made along the way. But all in the interest of good.

Through this all, my family and remainder of freinds have been super supportive, that is what means the most. My health is improving all the time, I am doing things I never imagined before I would accomplish and well, I'm happy. I smile, alot. I laugh, sometimes loud. I enjoy, getting up in the morning. I have taken back life and am pushing through.

1 comment:

Susy said...

You have grown! Things do change and getting to know yourself is only going to make you stronger. We have to learn to love ourselfs first and then share that love with someone special. I'm proud of you Michelle!

HuGs- :)