Middle of the week.....middle of some thoughts.......

One of the main reasons for resuming my blog is to put my thoughts out there, as if on paper for me to come back and review in the future.  I have had alot of things swimming in my head for so long and they are all jumbled and tangled and I have made not alot of sense of much of it.

I have in the past, contemplated moving.  Just picking up and starting over.  That notion was put to bed awhile ago when the financial status of the US bottomed out.  I could not afford to not have this job or the health and other benefits that come along with it, so I squashed it.  Well in the last few weeks things here at work have me at full circle almost with the notion creeping back in my mind.  I have been so far, unsuccessful in finding a suitable place for us to move, plus a situation (that is pretty sever) has occurred here at work.   I am not going to get into details of that right now, but probably will in the future.  So it begins again, do I stay or do I go?? 

Another thing I have had put alot of thought into is my personal life.  Really since Feb of this year, I do not have a personal life!  I work, work again sometimes and then come home either fall exhausted into bed or get some chores done and then go to sleep.  LOL  Fun life I have been leading lately huh!  It is enabling me to save up some money for the move or whatever.  So personal life = non existance.  I would love to try and remedy that somewhat but not really sure if this is the time to do so.  When I do get a rare opportunity to go out, it's with friends and all pre-arranged, but more times than not I have to decline invitations.

Work today, suprisingly so far is pleasant.  Yesterday, not so much.  I have the up and down mood swing personality of a boss, so like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates, you never know what you will get! 

It's beautiful weatherwise too!  Mid 80's, sunny, very low humidity....life doesn't get much better than that.

I am finally starting my weekend....

to finally start my weekend. I was at a viewing and service for a good friends mom who passed away earlier this week. It was a wonderful tribute to her, a woman who loved life more than anyone else I knew. She will be missed.

Now, I am out, to start my weekend, at yes 10pm....with my date. A fellow I have been seeing for a little now....it's purely hedoism between him and I now, ever since I first laid eyes on him. We have so much fun, laughing, joking and just having a great time together. I know what is going on...alot in my life. S and I well, there is alot to share, but I am not hanging out with him this weekend, nor any weekend probably soon. I have found some fun, he's a light in my day, a smile on my face and some lust in my heart. So with that I leave you, unknown to what is really going on, and yes I will explain soon! Have a great weekend!!! Enjoy and I will be back Sunday!

The middle of the long weekend

Woke up really early today, was able to get alot accomplished already since the oldest is working and the youngest is at a sleepover. The weather has been just perfect for this long holiday weekend, which is quite opposite of the norm for this holiday weekend. I need to get out and cut the grass, but I have no motivation right this moment so I thought I would pop in here! I have not gone anywhere or really made any plans as my June is going to be quite busy on most weekends, so mostly housework, working on my garden (I'm building up my backyard one) and just general hanging out and enjoying the down time.

School is almost over for the year for the youngest, graduating 8th grade in a few weeks and then he has his summer. I've noticed over the past month that he has contacted his father less and less. I'm sure partly is from the outcome of the custody battle that I won (which excludes his father from any custody) and his constant lying to the boy about what happened and why. It reall is a sad thing.

As for S and I, well we've had quite a long stretch now where we haven't seen one another. We worked through the issues of this, although maybe I'm not quite sure it's over (the issues that is), he is coming up the weekend of the 5th and I can say honestly I'm very glad he is. Although in the back of my mind I always wonder. We are heading down to Baltimore for this visit, another great city which he has never been to.

As for me, well I'm down 5 lb, been working out more, walking alot and just taking care of me! I'm officially 2 1/2 years out now and while it's not always easy, it is the path I've chosen. I think that my life would have been stuck in the same revolving pattern of discontent had I not chosen to do this. My health and wellbeing are intact and the head does seem to finally catch up with the rest of it, eventually. But I can honestly say some days I'm still a little taken aback by the changes that I've gone through.

Ok, before it gets too hot, I'm off to cut the lawn, good exercise!!

Enjoy the holiday and remember what this is about, those who fight or have fought for our country, the ones who take the lead and take care of us when the world is not quite right!

The date

If you can call it that, I went into it thinking no, not a date, we are friends. But as I was driving there that same thing overcame me again, that think that happens each time I see him.....and yes when I was sitting on the bench waiting and he pulled up, got out the car it happened again...DAMN I don't know, I guess it's a total physical attraction I have to him, good lord the butterflies were fighting to get out of my stomach!!

We had a great lunch, caught up, talked, laughed and just like no time had passed at all, but in fact I think it's like 8 or 9 months have!! Where do he and I go from here, well who knows....I guess we'll all just have to wait and see...he did ask me to the movies Tuesday night....hee hee

Enjoy this weekend, we are busy and that is whole different post....

Oh, proud to say weight is stable, although I have let my strictness slip a little....holding at 142 right now

New thoughts

Ok I just realized...S is coming in for a visit tomorrow and I am going to be quite busy all weekend...lol yes this whole long distance thing is really working out alot better than I thought it would....pics of the new car and me, coming....it's rainy and miserable here right now, tomorrow sunny and nice and I WILL have the sunroof open...lol So I realize I really do have alot of decisions that are around me, there is my friend the mechanic, M, he is has indicated he wants more, I can't see that, then there is R my neighbor, he's ok but in the long run, I'm not sure....then there is S in TX he is fun and we have fun and yes I'm totally drawn to him....so if I had to chose today...it's S


I will all let you know how the weekend goes, he's in at 1pm tomorrow my time.....